There Are No Mistakes!

Often times when things don't go the way we planned, we are quick to say it was a mistake! The definition of mistake is an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong according to Webster. Well I'm here to tell you since no one else has...it was a choice that you made. Yes...I know this is some epic shit coming to the surface!

I, too, am guilty of saying I didn't mean to do that...it was a mistake. Then I realized that I did mean to do it. I made a choice for such action to transpire. Many will argue my point and that's ok because I had to get here too. I didn't just arrive at this valuable information. So let me just break it down a little. For instance, if you drink and drive then you happen to cause an accident. It was NOT A MISTAKE. You chose to drink...you chose to drive which in turn caused the accident. That's about as elementary as I can make this.

Fast forwarding to an almost relationship I could have stumbled into after being separated/divorced. Dodge that bullet with a FULL ARMOUR ON....sorry digressed. Anyway,  now that things didn't work out the way the other person thought it would've, you know without me but with someone else, it was a mistake. Nahhh...it wasn't. It was a choice and you chose to work on what was and not what could've been. Congratulations!

I wasn't mad..bitter or upset. Go do you! You asked and I gave. I would never stop anyone from being happy. Please believe that if you think that your life would be happier without me, by all means....LET ME GO! This is for any relationship, friendship, situationship, etc. Happiness is not in another person...it's within you. We are the keepers of our happiness. Don't ever allow someone else to determine what makes you happy because it will fail every time!

The quote attached to this post hit home for me and it was a nice reminder of exactly what I'm saying. With that said...stop making "mistakes" and allow yourself to make choices that help you grow vs stunt your growth.

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM
EMAIL: CHANNELINGTEQUILA@GMAIL.COM

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Have you ever wondered what your gift is? The one that you were born with that no one else has because it was special just for you? Lots of people have the gift of singing but the special thing about it is no one person will ever sound the same because their gift was not given to anyone else. Lots of people know how to dance, cook, are athletic, photographers etc. The reason why they are good at what they do is because they have a gift that keeps on giving no matter what. There's a saying that "music soothes the savage beast". If you ever watched Beauty and the Beast you know what I'm talking about.

I can sing a little bit, I write and I'm a good listener. Those are some of my gifts. The gift I admire the most is the fact that I'm a giver. That can also come back to bite you too because people will take advantage of that. If I see someone struggling and even if I don't have it, I'll give what I have because I know that I'll be blessed in the end. I have given to people in need only to find out they not only had the money for whatever, but they had extra that they spent on luxuries. At first I was heated. Then I remembered that I'll be blessed and note to self...it won't happen again.

Thinking about your gifts that you were born with can sometimes be overwhelming but it doesn't have to be. Work your gifts within the realm of the power you have. Everything has a time and place. The gift that keeps on giving is the one that you continually use to help others. It may be singing, cooking, writing, artistry etc. Whatever it is..just know that gift was especially assigned to you. Be protective of it and use it wisely. This is the season of giving!

What is your gift that keeps on giving? How are you using it to help others and yourself? Remember that YOU'RE UNIQUE and your gift was handpicked for you at birth!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com
Email: channelingtequila@gmail.com

Just Reflect

I asked several times for the universe to guide me on this week's blog. Each time the word "nothing" was repeated. Then those words were followed by "just reflect". So this week's blog is about nothing specific yet just reflect. I've been doing some more soul searching and reflecting on my future. Finances, credit worthiness, debt elimination and not reduction. I asked for debt reduction, which I'm being granted often then this epiphany happened...or reflection...I need to ask for debt elimination! My debt is reduced every time I pay off a credit card or whatever I have in terms of credit. Now I need to be done with credit period! If I don't have the money...I'm not getting it! The reality is in the world today we need some form of credit in order to determine our credit worthiness to acquire big purchases. So the challenge is to keep those lines of credit without using them.

Reflecting on my future endeavors is both invigorating yet scary. I'm afraid of failure! I guess I won't really know until I do it, huh? Well since this week's blog is about nothing but just reflecting...what are you reflecting on? How will you do things differently not even starting in the New Year but today? Or how will you enhance what you're already doing to get to the next level? Some things just need to be improved not necessarily "changed" 😉!

With that said...take a look in the mirror both physically and metaphorically to see what you need to see. Just reflect!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB Page: Channeling Tequila
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com
Email: channelingtequila@gmail.com

I'll Take Divine Connection for 1k, Alex!

I once believed that there is no way you can call someone your friend if you've never met them face to face. Well lo and behold my theory was proven wrong. I've been corresponding with a person over the past 3 or 4 years and we've never met face to face. We met while playing an online game. To be quite honest most of the guys I've conversed with through these game apps really trying to holla at ya! He was different.

Over the years we have had talks about life, financial freedom, God, health, relationships etc. We applaud and support each other as well as scold each other on health issues that aren't being addressed. We have a kindred divine connection. The kind where you don't know you have it until you have it. Not once has he stepped out of line with me. Although I tell him all the time that it takes alot to offend me, he's never been the one to cross the line and I respect that.

Everybody's energy is not good energy. I had to learn that as much as I try to help everyone and be there for everyone, I can't. I have to protect myself and the energy I invite into my life. When you meet a complete stranger and you vibe with them, it's magical. Not even sexual...just pure magical.

Why you ask? Well let me tell you! You are yourself in the raw. You don't have them there to analyze you physically because they only know what you tell them. Now let's be clear, some people will lie and be fake about who they are online. Hell some like that and you've met them! Sorry I digressed...
Anyway, as you get to know a person before meeting them, over years especially, you begin to be invited into their world. Your lives intertwine and bonds are made. Thus this friendship.

The next time you find yourself knowing someone you've never met better than the people you've met, that's quite amazing. Remember to play your cards close to the chest and always bet on black! Divine connections are placed in our lives to guide us as well as for us to guide them. You never know when you'll be chosen. So stay ready so you won't need to get ready.

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com
Email: channelingtequila@gmail.com

Quest for Vision

Well Blog Readers we are embarking fast to the end of the year. Many things I wanted to happen did not; however I am not discouraged. What that meant for me is...IT'S NOT YOUR TIME. When we are in the moment there are so many things we NEED and WANT to happen. After it's all said and done...the universe said No (not now). For 2020 I am downloading a vision board app so that I can plan once again and see what the universe will make sure I'm ready to receive.

I've done many things this year that have been on my bucket list for a very long time. I went to more than one model call and was chosen for them all! I attempted to sell my home and even bought a new one...contingent on the sell of this one obviously! Welp...the universe said No (not yet). I was surprisingly at ease. What we want and what we need are not always one in the same. I'm a firm believer in what's for you is for you and no man or woman can take that away.

God protects us from ourselves! Looking back I could've also drawn others into what was not to be (yet) and all of us would've been screwed (not in a good way). I'm thankful for the universe interrupting what I wanted and not what I needed. As I've always said, in the moment we can't see how we are being shielded from what we want. Everything happens for a reason and in the appropriate season.

This season love who you are and follow the direction of the universe. You will be protected! Have you thought about 2020? Are you waiting? What's your wish? Whatever it may be, just remember it's already written so its yours love!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com
Email: channelingtequila@gmail.com 

Calling All Yaysayers!

Everything and everybody won't always fit the way we want them to. There will come a time when you have to make a decision to choose you. Although this time has so many other meanings behind it we never seem to understand why when we're in the thick of things. Every trial that we've gone through or will continue to go through has rainbow and at the end is our pot of gold.

This past weekend I had the pleasure of being part of a phenomenal plus size model photo shoot for a 2020 calendar. In that room were so many women of different sizes..different complexions.. different backgrounds, but when it came to getting the job done we all meshed and became one...perfection! Plus size modeling is something that I've always wanted to do but I never felt like I was good enough. Yes many said that I had the face but I wasn't quite what they were looking for when it came to being tall enough or my legs being long enough or my body being proportioned enough. Sometimes even saying that I was overweight but I knew in my heart of hearts that 1 day I would be modeling as a pleasantly plush size model because I was confident in what it was I had to offer.

Surround yourself with people who are yay sayers instead of naysayers. Once you do that, anything that you aspire to be, you will be able to achieve. Hell you may even be cheering alone in the stands, but that's ok!! The universe gives us exactly what we need in the time that we need it which may not always be the time that we think we should have it. There are times when we're not ready for what all is to come so we have to be patient and we have to wait and then when it's the perfect timing...perfect things fall into place. There is no need to go and look for anything because it's already waiting for you.

Keep looking ahead! Everything that we want is in front of us so there is no need to look behind you. Continue to give to those who don't even give to you because at the end of the day your blessings await us and you will receive it 10 fold. Remember to clap for the yay sayers and pray for the naysayers!

P.S.A. #worthmyweightingold 2020 Calendar coming soon!!
#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB PAGE: CHANNELING TEQUILA
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM
EMAIL: CHANNELINGTEQUILA@GMAIL.COM

The Oprah Effect

You've probably lived under a rock your entire life if you've never heard of or seen Oprah giving out gifts at her show. She frantically screams and points to each person "you get a car" "you get a car" "you get a car!" The audience erupts! Some in tears, some hugging, most of them screaming with joy! I've always wondered...does she pay the taxes on those cars too? Of course I would ask that question because there's always some fineprint you're unaware of until it's too late.

This weekend I was supposed to be out and partying to celebrate several birthdays. The first birthday celebration was on Friday night but my spirit was uneasy and I had that thing down in your gut that says "no don't do it". I couldn't shake it and couldn't understand why. I mean I'm a great party person! I love my extroverted self in those arenas. I ultimately decided to follow my gut and not go. I prepaid and everything so you know I was a bit upset. I told my girlfriend how I was feeling and she understood because she knows about that whole "gut moment". She was kind enough to go live on social media so I could join in!

Saturday night I was to attend another birthday celebration. The big 50 celebration! Now that's truly a milestone as well. Wellllll...everything kept me from leaving to attend that party. Two and a half hours after it started I had to let the guest of honor know I wouldn't be in attendance. This time I was waiting pretty much for hours to have my special package arrive..My Bonus Baby! I haven't seen her in seven months and this whole building a situationship with her mother is hot and cold in order to be a part of this three year olds life. But hey...you pick your battles...or not.

In both scenarios I was supposed to be out and about in the world. The universe had other plans for me. It was another Oprah effect! "You get to sit down" "You get to have peace" "You get to relax"! We never know the reason for our break in the moment. I've been going alot these past few weeks chasing bricks to build the foundation of my next house. Metaphorically of course! We have to take a moment and step back to see what things matter in life. When we are on the go so much we often miss out or bypass things that need our attention. My own household needed my attention. I was forced to stop, sit and view.

I'm thankful that I obeyed my spirit. It's when we go against our gut, things tend to go in the wrong direction! I'm thankful for people in my life who understand and respect that I need to do me in order to function healthy. With that said (in my Oprah voice) "you get to relax" "you get to have peace" "you get to be happy"!

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM
EMAIL: CHANNELINGTEQUILA@GMAIL.COM

Image courtesy of Google Images

Window Washer

Window Washer

Have you ever looked at how window washers do their job? Most people are annoyed that they are hanging around all day. Some window washers are on standing ladders and some are on customized ladders, called skyscrapers, with pullies if the buildings are tall enough. They wear protective gear so that they don't fall. The job itself is done very meticulously. The tools used are swapped out with every swipe of the window. This is exactly how life is. The word tools can be substituted for people, habits, etc.

We are given the tools we need every single day in order to do better and be better. Sometimes in life we have to "swap out" or "remove" old tools in order to get to our best. Every person that comes and goes in our life is there for a reason and a season. We don't know the reason or season when we're in it and sometimes we never know. It's not for us to know. We have to pick up what we have and move on to the next job that must be done.

Recently I allowed someone I once loved back into my life. My thought process was to help; however it became a hindrance on my spirit. Old things began to rise to the top that I thought I was over. Although I have matured in the process, I'm not all the way there. As much as I've tried to be "okay" with it all, my mind continues to turn and my soul is unsettled. If you're on the outside looking in, one would say "you shouldn't have allowed them back into your life". Well of course that could be said, yet at the same time it was by choice. If you've followed me, you know that my heart is bigger than I can handle at times. My soul is unsettled when I can't help or deny helping others when I can. Either way, it's not for me to diagnose. Awareness is what I have and now the work must be done to move in that awareness.

Back to the window washing. Think of windows as life. Everything is thrown at you and the windows begin to get more and more dirty. A regular wash of those windows won't get it as clean as you like so you power wash them suckers but the corners don't come clean. Those corners need to be cleaned at some point. The buildup will continue to grow and that dirt in the corner will soon spread to the rest of the window. We have to be meticulous when we clean our windows. The surface is not enough. We have to get in the corners where the most dirt builds up.

Be meticulous about cleaning your life up. It's hard at times making the decisions about who you should and shouldn't keep in your life. If you're lucky, they will even make the decision for you which can also be life changing. Take care of you and the rest will fall into place.

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM
EMAIL: CHANNELINGTEQUILA@GMAIL.COM

Resilience Race

I use to believe the race would be given to the quickest. That's not necessarily the whole truth! The race is for the resilient! In order to vacillate between the many facets of life you absolutely have to be resilient. People will try you and with those trials sometimes you have to make a decision about whether or not they will get to the finish line with you. Newsflash...everyone that started the race with you will not make it to the end! You have to drop a few people off along the way either for your sanity or theirs. No matter what...you must remain resilient in order to make it to the finish line.

This weekend's Minnesota Black Author's Expo festivities re-ignited the fire that I let die because I'm so busy helping everyone else get to the finish line as I stand on the sideline cheering. Another one of my blessed curses! I'm always making sure everyone is getting to their next level by any help I can provide, yet I'm not focused on what I need to do to get to my own finish line. Needless to say I'm a go getter and I adore helping others reach their potential; however I also need to recognize my own cheering is needed to reach my finish line. The self care I preach about is also the self
care I must be about!

I delivered a powerful spoken word piece at the Minnesota Black Author's reception the night before the Expo entitled "Let Me School You." After that delivery I was approached by many of the established authors asking if I would be selling MY BOOK OF POETRY at the expo. That resonated in my spirit! Something I have been putting off so very long, felt like "it's time". I have been given the umph I needed to get moving. The spoken "ok" from a group, essentially of strangers, whose craft I respect and feel were sincere solidified what I've wanted to make happen. So with that said...look out 2020! She's coming through winning the race!

I'm back in the race! I'm resilient! I'm restored! I'm ready!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM
EMAIL: CHANNELINGTEQUILA@GMAIL.COM

It's Ok to Not be Ok!

It's Ok to NOT be Ok! Daily, as a woman, I'm constantly trying to make sure everyone I deal with in my life is Ok. Even when I'm not Ok! I feel like it's my duty to make sure everyone else is. I'm the first to tell people when they ask if I'm ok I will gladly say "I'm not but I will be." Those who know me know that when I say that to just give me some time and space and I will pop right back into action. Learning to give people their time and space is healthy for not only that person but for the person that cares as well. I'm to a point in my life now that if you don't want/need me around, I'm good. I've made some decisions that have altered many relationships in my life and now I'm altering my relationship with myself. I'm not begging to be a part of anyone's journey any longer. If you want me there...I'm there. If not...it's Ok.

I wasn't ok with people not wanting me in their lives at one point. Then I realized that it's a choice that was made and I needed to accept that. It doesn't change whether or not I would help them when in need; however it does change the way I deal with it all. I'm definitely not one to judge anyone so whatever decision is made, I'm sure is a decision that will benefit everyone involved. We must learn to protect ourselves mentally as well as physically and spiritually. Once I understood that protection was the ultimate end result, I was ok with it all.

I say all this to say once again, it's ok not to be ok. Not to be ok with decisions that are made. Not to be ok with being someone you're not just to pacify a situation. Not to be ok with compromising your "ships" in order to be kept in one where you're no longer needed or wanted. It's ok to not be ok with making everyone else ok with you.

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com
Email: channelingtequila@gmail.com 

Unexpected Expectations

I've learned to have no expectations in order to protect my heart, mind and soul. The crazy thing is before I adopted this armour of protection I had soooo many expectations. I contribute alot of my hurt and pain to being let down by others...including myself. Now I just go with the flow of whatever and whatever happens happens. It may sound cold but it's my coping mechanism. What's your coping mechanism for life's battles? Is it shutting down? Not talking to other people? Taking some time for yourself?

My main concern is protecting my heart. Sometimes we put ourselves out there in order to "find" what we're looking for when in reality we already have it. It's not in another person and it's not in things. I've tried to fill my subliminal void with dates, sex, drugs, alcohol or just anything to take me away from the reality of life. When all I had to do was look in the mirror to see myself. I am enough! You are enough!

Society has programmed many of us to believe that we need more but we don't. We just want it because it's "what's right" according to societal standards. What's right seemed by the world isn't always what's right for individual people. I had to come to terms with not being ok with just wanting to have someone with me. Feeling insecure in the aspect of being lonely and even alone at times. It definitely gets old, but at the same time I'm tired of compromising myself for others in order to feel needed or wanted.

I realized I'm still in my healing process. Just when you think you're all ready to get on with life, life reminds you that you haven't done all the work necessary to get to where you want to be. And guess what??...that's ok because we are continually evolving as we take this quiz called life.

I recently was awakened out of my sleep by the universe with S.H.E.E. (Sisters Healing, Evolving & Empowered). I wanted to sleep so badly but when the universe calls, you listen. So what did I do, pop my butt right up and created that Facebook group because it needed to happen. It was gifted to me in order to help others heal. I need this group just as much as everyone else.

Lastly, the Empowerment Event was FANTASTIC! It was powerful, intimate and life changing. It was everything I could've ever wanted. The people that needed to be in the room were in the room for a purpose. They didn't know what they signed up for! Many are already vowing for next year and I'm cleansing my soul in order to make it happen again. That's some heavy loads we carry and as the coordinator, I carry mine and theirs so you got to be ready!

Thank you to everyone who participated near and far. It was truly a blessing! Remember to expect nothing in return and you'll never be disappointed!
#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com
Email: channelingtequila@gmail.com

Intimate Space Invasion

The first thought that comes to mind when I hear the word intimate is sex. I'm just keeping it real! I mean yes intimacy has some relevance during sex, yet sex is sometimes just that...sex. There are no intimate exchanges. It's simply about empty pleasures. You do the do...and go on your way in life. Luckily for those of you reading this today, I won't go there because we all know, well if you've been following, I can have that real conversation with the best of them. Today's intimacy discussion is more about allowing people into you intimate space that most of us hold near, dear and close.

We can't always divulge everything about our flaws, faults, self misconceptions about ourselves to everyone because that allows them to invade our intimate space. We open ourselves up to the same type of abuse that we attempted to remove ourselves from and not even intentionally. It's because we still have that trusting side of us and the illusion that everyone has our best interest at heart. NEWSFLASH...THEY DON'T!

I've had guys who were there to "comfort me" in their own special way of reminding me of my past and me allowing them to invade my intimate space because I became too comfortable. I'm pretty open about things I've done and been through so that in itself is sometimes overwhelming for men and women. If you can't be honest with yourself, hell you definitely can't be honest with anyone else. It took me a long time to get to this place of honesty, openness and accountability so I have zero plans of changing that. Now what I have changed and continue to change is how I allow others to invade my intimate space.

Without giving a full blown tutorial on this, just know that I will tell you and show you where we stand if you need to know. This is/was a pivotal moment in my recent self discovery journey. Not running back to the comfort I knew has been a challenge because I am a giving person and I thrive in relationships, companionship, situationships, friendships...hell the "ships". I needed to become guarded again and to revisit my actions so that I'm doing exactly what it is I'm supposed to be doing.

Tomorrow is my 2nd Empowerment Event and it's about just that! Redemption...resurrection and restarts! Every person attending has a story and I'm honored to be the one to assist some with bringing it to the forefront. The right people will be in the room for the right reasons. I like it small and intimate...yet safe and empowering! Invading Intimate Space to grow and glow!

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com
Email: channelingtequila@gmail.com

V is for....

When is it ok to allow yourself to be vulnerable? Do you believe that there are times when we are more vulnerable than others depending on who is in your life? Although I'm asking the question, I also feel like I should kinda answer it too as it pertains to my own life. I tend to be my most vulnerable when I'm unfocused and basically just floating around. I'm literally trying to grab on to anything or anyone for some type of stability. When I say stability, I'm not talking about financially but emotionally. I'm someone that loves to love and the idea of love is beautiful...when it's done right obviously.

I also find myself vulnerable when I'm trying to prove a point or a position. I open myself up to the other person's ideations about me or the subject matter when reality it does NOT even matter because I am who I am and that's what I'm most proud of. There are times when you, well I, think is there more I should be doing? Should I open up more? Be more vulnerable to appease others?

For instance, my 2nd Annual Empowerment Event was NOT even going to happen this year because I have/had so much going on in my personal life that I didn't need one more thing to obsess over. Welllllll...my soul could not rest so I had to obey and just do it! The passion of doing the event is to allow women to show their vulnerabilities and to allow themselves to look back over how they got to their moment of truth and empowerment. I love love love helping other women feel empowered in whatever arena they choose to display it. I had a VERY short time frame to get everything together and things are coming together quite nicely with the help of some beautiful souls who needed this just as much as I do. For the record...I don't make one dime off of this event so it's more than just a gig to me and I obsess over numbers because I want people to get what they need. Then I step back and say those who are there are there for a purpose...and that's what matters! It's the passion that drives me!

So with that said, I've come to the conclusion that it's ok for me to be vulnerable in certain areas in my life and with certain people. Gauge your vulnerability and make sure you're taking care of YOU first! It's ok to be selfish with self! I hope to see you at the event next Sunday!

https:///e/channeling-tequila-presents-let-your-mind-speak-the-inner-woman-dialogue-tickets-67675281589

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com
Email: channelingtequila@gmail.com

Image: pinclipart

What Really is My Worth?


Am I worthy of the worth that I say I have? This question on worth has been swirling in my mouth like being at a vineyard for a good wine tasting. I mean I've never been to one, but that's how I imagine it to be just by watching tv. I can taste the wine swirling on my palate just as I can taste the question posed today. The mere definition of worth means "equivalent in value to the sum or item specified". Am I equivalent in value? If so, the value of what?

As women, well men too, the phrase "know your worth" is spread abroad yet we have nothing to compare our value to. Yes, I have even said those words and to be quite honest I have no damn idea what it truly means in my life. I can only speak for myself. Now there may be some of you reading this that know exactly what your worth is. I'm just not one of them. I mean I know I'm a good person...for the most part. If we're being truly transparent I have some shit I need to work on and through, but that's part of my growth...continued growth. I know that I'm not always making good decisions that will allow me to be my best self emotionally, spiritually or even physically because I'm always trying to do better. I'm human and I make mistakes. Even intentional mistakes in order to preserve my mental health. Does any of that define my worth? If so, just reading this alone pretty much shows my worth is not that great.

Knowing your worth is very different from worthiness. We are worthy of love, respect and appreciation. There is no magic number of value that can be placed on that. Being who you are, asking and expecting those things should be the norm when you're in any "ship" (i.e. relationship, friendship, situationship etc). Just being me is enough to determine my worth. There are no two people quite the same on this earth. Not even identical twins! We all bring extra spice to everyone we encounter. With that said, there's no need to define or even allow anyone else to tell you your value...it's infinite!

So the next time you're questioning your worth...just remember it can't be defined! See you all at the empowerment event! #findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM
EMAIL: CHANNELINGTEQUILA@GMAIL.COM

Photo Credit: Redbubble

When Ugly Crying Cleanses the Soul

Have you ever had a moment when all you can think about is one thing in particular or even one person? Everywhere you look there's either a commerical, a sign or a song about it? Well that has been my entire week. This one word has awakened me out of my sleep, orgasmed my mind and spirit all week long so clearly I had to blog about it! Keep your undies on....

See when something is so pressing like that and present in everyday things, that's a sign from the universe that you need to do something with or about it. My outlet is writing so that's what I do when I'm pressed with that feeling. The focus word of the week sent from the universe is water! Yessss...I know right. I'm like water? Why? How? I mean what's so fascinating about water that I need to constantly be bombarded with that word!?

Since you so impatiently waited for that tidbit...here's the science behind it all. Water is one of the elements provided by the universe that can transform into a solid, become a liquid and a gas! Yea made skills that water has! The wonderful thing about water is that it also cleanses. Our bodies are 60% water or something like that. Y'all know math was not my strong point! I mean look it up if you want accuracy lol! The point is water serves many purposes and the cleansing is what I'll touch on today.

I've always been told that crying cleanses the soul. Those tears come from the natural water in our bodies. You ever had one of those hurts that you needed to "ugly cry" at because a normal one wouldn't do? This is when that water comes in handy! Ladies and gents I've had so many of those ugly cries over the last few years that they turned into tears of joy finally. Most recently I cried over a lost friendship. At some point it may rejuvenate, but as for now....I'm at peace with it and I got there by acceptance. Now that was just the "normal cry" that I spoke of. That ugly cry baby....that's a whole NUTHA emotion! Had a moment...back to water!

Water has the power to make things grow and also to destroy them. So it's kinda an oxymoron! It nourishes the soil yet can flood everything and kill it. When you're going through trials and tribulations think about how water plays such an intricate role in that situation. You get to ugly cry in order to cleanse your soul. At the same time you will be flooding out the hurt and pain while nourishing your growth in that area. Of all the natural elements gifted to us by the universe....water is the winner!

You have permission to ugly cry now! It's time to let it all go so new growth can happen! #findyourhappy

As a matter of fact, attend this year's empowerment event and we can ugly cry together! The link is right here!


https:///e/channeling-tequila-presents-let-your-mind-speak-the-inner-woman-dialogue-tickets-67675281589


With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com 

A Rose is Never JUST A Rose

If you've ever received a single rose or a dozen of roses not one of them looks identical. The process that a Rose goes through in order to get to the sheer beauty that we've come to marvel had to go through some things to get there. A rose is a very beautiful flower that can come in many different colors. Hell they even have levels of classification from upper to lower depending on their beauty and growth. Then those thorns! If you've ever been stuck by the thorn of a rose you understand how much pain that beautiful entity brought into your life. You forget instantaneously how much that hurt once you gaze at the beauty of each petal of the rose.

I had the wonderful pleasure of speaking with the author of the book "The Concrete Rose Experience: A Journey of Transformation" earlier today and when I tell y'all I was NOT ready. This book was real, raw, disturbing yet invigorating and empowering! The courage that went into telling her truth and owning her destiny as well as her mistakes is phenomenal to say the least. We connected because the 2019 Empowerment Event "Channeling Tequila Presents: Let Your Mind Speak: The Inner Woman Dialogue" resonated with her. Please please please check it out:

The Concrete Rose Experience: A Journey of Transformation https://www.amazon.com/dp/1791963587/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_r6VADbPXC21E7

Y'all know how I digress...back to the rose! We are all roses with our share of thorns. We've endured pain as well as given pain to others. Some intentional and some unintentional, yet pain ensued. Roses have a unique smell and every petal is designed with love from mother nature. Not one rose is the same no matter how many you put together. This freak of nature as some would say is definitely reminder that each of us are unique in our own way. We have thorns and growing pains. We must go through the process in order to get to our beauty.

We are beautifully unique...arriving in different colors and most importantly A Rose is never JUST a Rose!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com

Stay Ready!

So let me run this by y'all. Have you ever had the feeling that this has to be it and only to find out...ummm this is NOT IT!? Many things go on from day to day in my life as well as yours I'm sure; however some days are way more questionable than others. When I say questionable I'm referring to when I'm asking myself questions about decisions I am making or not making for that matter.

Most recently I had my 45th birthday!! Yesss it was a good one, yet I find myself still compromising or thinking that I'm compromising when it comes to pursuing a relationship. This is just not a romantic relationship either....since clearly that has gone nowhere but even in platonic relationships. I had a conversation with one of my friends and I told him I think I'm ready for a partner. This of course made him ask all these other questions....you know how ya'll men do instead of just getting to the main question! Basically he wanted to know what I'm looking for. I explained to him that I'm looking for "A monogamous relationship where we both help each other build...travel and love life. If marriage happens cool if not cool. I just want reciprocity. I give wayyyy too much because that's who I am. The return is not so good. Everybody I meet in a relationship. I'm not good in the side chick role." I want what I want and sometimes my wants overshadow my needs. All that healthy response from me and he says "well said". Now what in all the hell does that mean?

It means that he ain't ready sis! But he couldn't just say that. Although we're not an item at the same time we could be. Again...that's me wanting what I want and not necessarily what I need. The running joke is me waiting on someone to break into my home to sweep me off my feet because I'm not out looking. I have a wedding coming up in a few months and once again I will be at the table alone...potentially...with couples. Getting the side eye. I mean I appreciate the invites and the social time, but it does become a little "Groundhog Dayish"! So ummm yea I'll keep you all posted on that whole thing.

As far as friendships, I adore, cherish and appreciate the ones that are real. Let me clarify what I mean. There are some "friendships" that are "associated" and there are some that are "real". Those real ones stand the test of time through rough patches and all. The ones where you fight and then you pick up right where you left off after the fight lol! I can laugh about it because I'm that person. I will let you have your moment just like I need mine and then start over right where we left off. Those kind I love!

Wellllll peeps...I said all this to say when you stay ready you don't have to get ready! Everything is not always what we want it to be and relationships will come and go. The ones that matter will always matter and will always be there. I'm ready for what's to come and I'm humble enough to allow things to manifest where they are. What's for me is for me and I'll just sit right here waiting.

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM

FAKE NEVER LIVED HERE!

I read a post earlier this week in a group entitled "Things You Can Do For Your Inner Child." All those words on the post were phenomenal but the words that have engulfed my spirit this entire week are "radical honesty". When I tell y'all this hit home for me...it hit home for me. Those words swirling in my subconscious required me to look into myself once again. Radical Honesty!!

Radical Honesty is just what it sounds like. It's straight with no chaser. Not even a miniscule lie will evolve because when you're radical...things just happen differently for you. Although most times I take other people's feelings into consideration, it doesn't always protect my own feelings. Before I could show radical honesty to anyone else...I had to show it to myself. Now let me make this radically clear here...I have NOT always been the best person when it comes to telling the truth. I'm definitely no saint, yet I am fully aware of my shortcomings.

I love love so I protect what I shouldn't...if we're being radically honest. I give alot of myself to feel "loved" or even appreciated to those that I shouldn't. I'm a peaceful yet non bullshit person by no choice of my own. It's in my DNA. Annnnddd chile now that I'm 44.5, know myself wayyyyy better, there's no telling what type of "radical" you might get from me! It took me a very long time to get to where I am today.

Radical honesty can be hard and sometimes even hurtful. Not just for the person delivering it, but also for the person on the receiving in. I've hurt people both intentionally and non intentionally. My best interest was not always what happened which severed a few relationships. Again, if we're being radically honest I was hurt just like the people in those relationships. Hurt because I assumed that they would want the same for me as I would want for them...best interest. As I embark on Sequel 45, I'm claiming everything that was taken and everything that I'm supposed to have. New chapters, new beginnings, new relationships, new radicalness!!

Be Radically Honest! It's FREEING! MIND BODY & SOUL.

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com

Photo Credit: Finerminds.com

Coming Through!!

You have to let people come through with the ribbon. I know I've said this before, but let me say it louder for the people in the balcony and in the bathroom out of earshot! Everybody is not rooting for you! There will be some people rooting against you because they would rather see you fail due to their own selfishness. So when I say you have to let people come through with the ribbon, I mean you have to let them win at whatever it is they are trying to do!

Every game does not require you to participate. Relationships, friendships, situationships...all the "ships" at some point make it to the finish line. Being able to understand that you can't be a participant in every game requires you to do some deep and real self examination. I have cried many nights regarding all of those types of "ships" because I thought I was doing the right thing by allowing myself to be what they wanted me to be. Or even do what they wanted me to do when it wasn't what was best for me and my situation. Welllll I had to realize that what I needed to do was focus on what I need to do for me. As selfish as it may sound, it had to be done because I seemed to be the only one looking out for me!

I have had the pleasure and blessing of being a featured guest on The 4 Opinions podcast at KMOJ Station to discuss some of the blog pieces and my continued journey on how becoming whole. I was asked a few times when I was coming on the show and I kept putting it off. I almost "just went" one time and the universe did not align for that to happen. I wasn't ready! I was doing it to appease the situation and not do what was best for my continued healing. I reached out to Tiffany Washington, one of the founding members and one of the friends I stepped away from some time ago as I went through my own stuff, and she knew it was time! She understood I needed to be aligned to come correct...raw....and ready! Please check out the WONDERFUL weekly podcast every Thursday at 7pm CST via video at The 4 Opinions page on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/2194206240895792/posts/2371331216516626/

Lastly, one question I was asked is how long does it take to get to #findyourhappy? The answer is YOU'LL KNOW! The main thing to do is trust the process and remember that everything takes T.I.M.E.
Nothing you are going through happened overnight so it won't be fixed overnight. Most importantly in order to get to your peace...you absolutely MUST MUST MUST be HONEST with yourself...ACKNOWLEDGE your role in the situation and ACCEPT it. Until you can be honest with yourself, you can't be with anyone else. I can honestly say that it is so FREEING TO TELL YOUR TRUTH...TRUTHFULLY! Hope you caught that! Let people come through with the ribbon! You're already winning!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM 

Channeling Tequila Presents: Let YOUR Mind Speak! 2019 Event

Save the Date!!!!

JOIN ME FOR PART II OF THE DISCUSSION ON THURSDAY, AUGUST 1, 2019, 7PM CST!!

CLICK THIS LINK OR SAVE IT TO YOUR FAVORITES! ⤵️⤵️

https://www.facebook.com/the4opinions/

Your Presence is No Longer Required

So about a week ago...a week ago! Sorry digressed with that lyric playing in my head! Anyway...it was about a week ago when I had a massive emotional breakdown. Life was coming at me from every direction and although it seems minuscule now, it was giant in the moment. Things were breaking down in the house I'm trying to sell and I was paying to get those things fixed. My car was making noises. I didn't see how I could attend my family reunion from a financial aspect. Juggling watching my granddiva and making sure there was enough food in the house everyday became alot. I'm usually pretty good with everything and I handle stress well...or so I thought. Mainly because I guess I don't stress over shit. If I have no control of it I don't seem to worry. Well this was not the case because I'm trying to do things and make a better life for myself and my kids financially. So during this breakdown that was coming...which I had not prepared for...the people that I KNOW or THOUGHT I KNEW would be there for me were not. I don't expect people to do for me or be there for me normally, but this time felt different. I have learned to live by No Expectations equal No Disappointments.

Yes...it was disheartening to say the least but it taught me a valuable lesson about this thing called life....Your Presence is No Longer Required. Through the years I have cut people out of my life and vice versa. Those times either were a blessing or a blessing. Yes I wrote it exactly as I should have. Sometimes you have to chalk things up and move on in order to be your best self. When you figure out that someone or some thing's presence is no longer required in your life, you have reached a whole different level of self acceptance and awareness.

Now there were those who came to my rescue without even knowing they were and those who were fully aware that I'm not myself. They saw through my "I'm fine" yet didn't force themselves on me. They also know that when I'm going through I need distance and to do me in order to get to "I'm ok". Thank you to those near and far who saw right through the smoke and mirrors.

Cutting people off is both freeing yet sad. For whatever reason you need to announce Your Presence is No Longer Required, be sure and very sure that's what works for YOU. Don't do things that allow you to compromise who you are in order to appease them. Remain true to yourself and what you have to do in order to #findyourhappy

It's not always pretty but yet necessary. In the event someone feels as if they need to cut you out of their lives, be ok with it and move right along as painful as it may be....it's for you and possibly for them also to move to the next level. We never know what is going on with people even when they tell us because no one person, in my experience, will tell you all that's going on but reach out to people when they cross your mind. Don't change who you are. Remain consistent yet guarded. Don't be afraid to put your sanity first and announce Your Presence is No Longer Required!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com 

Breaking Down to Your Breakthrough

When I tell y'all I don't look like what I've been through and what I'm going through...it's all a blessing! This week has been extremely trying, tiring and draining. If you've ever sold a house, you know part of the traumatic event I am going through. Yes I said traumatic shit! When you've been in your comfort zone and then suddenly or not so sudden, you have to adjust your life in order to accommodate your new life after divorce, it's trying, tiring and traumatic. I'm a strong woman but there comes a time when that strength is broken because as a strong woman I need stronger women in my corner to help navigate this Breakdown to get to my Breakthrough!

People who really know me know that I don't ask for help, yet I'm always willing to help others in need. If I reach out for help help...you know I'm in desperate need and that in itself is a redflag for those who know me. I'm just not cut like that and I firmly believe that I will be rewarded for helping others. I will go and go and go giving all over without asking for anything in return. This is yes a blessing and a curse because I find myself back in the same situation of not helping myself. This is when my mental and emotional state begin to digress.

This week I have cried because I was overwhelmed trying to hold it altogether. I couldn't. I was done and felt defeated. I felt as if my world was all crashing down. I had that feeling of being smothered alive. Imagine being placed in a grave, alive, dirt being thrown onto you and slowly you begin to have trouble breathing because you're suffocating. I mean yea one might say I watch too much ID CHANNEL, but the feeling was real and intense. I was being smothered alive with life's happenings. It was one thing after another beginning with money being spent that I had not allotted to spend. Plans changed because money had to be spent elsewhere. This house I loved so much 12 years ago, well just like my marriage....we're done!

I had a FULL COMPLETE BREAKDOWN! I was reminded by one of my sister-in-law's that everything will be ok. It will all work out. Although it may not seem like it and I'm ready to be done, it's not time. Trust and believe she said...when it's the right time you will get everything you deserve and more. That resonated with me because I truly believe in things happening in God's time.

Earlier in the day my very good friend reminded me that we are friends and he is here to help. Of course I said I would let him know, yet didn't. He continually reminds me that's what friends are for. I know this, but I never want to feel like a burden to anyone and I absolutely despise owing anybody. He hates when I do that because we are friends and I need to work on accepting help. I'm a work in progress.

My girlfriend Peaches knew something was off the with me, but of course I don't say anything. Finally she got the text. "I'm tired". Men...when a woman says those words....game over. She rallied me with her kind and inspirational words. When asked what she could do to help. "Nothing but thank you" I said. Well my girlfriend Jenny, the rebel, got that same message, didn't listen to me about not needing anything, got in her truck, drove to me with Patron and all the fixings. She never was good at following directions anyway. I needed that...but didn't know it. I mean the Patron always, but her presence is what I'm talking about. I went from Breakdown to Breakthrough in the hour plus she came to comfort me. We laughed, listened to music, talked and drank Patron on the patio of the house that's stressing me. We were Channeling Tequila!

Sometimes the strongest part of being a woman or a man isn't declining help...it's accepting it. I had to Breakdown to get to my Breakthrough! I'm ready....

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM

Photo Credit: Heat Ministries

Every Valley Derived From A Wilderness

When you're in the wilderness you can't see the valley for the trees. There will be many difficult times in life where you will need to make decisions that free you from the wilderness. Those decisions may be family, friends, relationships, situationships, jobs or just plain revamping your own self care.

I've always been a person that thrives on relationships. It's in my makeup! Anyone that knows me can tell you that I'm about networking and building relationships. At the same time, I'm also cognizant of those relationships that no longer serve a purpose in my life. It's nothing that either of us have done, it's just the simple fact of "the valley is in need of them" which is why they must move on.

I also have had relationships that either I walked away from or they walked away from me. Those are the ones that seem to lay heaviest on my heart, in my mind and my spirit. Although there was a departure, I'm the type of person that long for and/or need closure. I will still be there for them if needed, yet I learned that I can't expect that from everyone.

I was told by one of my girlfriends that everyone is not like me. For instance, I can have a romantic/intimate relationship with someone, never have that again and yet remain friends because the friendship is more important to me than intimacy. NEWSFLASH! Some can't do that and I'm either stupid or a genius! Either way there's something "unique" about my ability to do that. This is where that whole can't see the valley because of the trees in the wilderness comes in.

The reason I can't see what others see wrong with that whole scenario is because I'm in the wilderness searching for the valley. Searching for fair ground so that all of us will maintain the relationship we worked to not only put in place but to maintain. I love frolicking in the valley and living life. When I'm in the wilderness, I'm lost and it's desolate. My mind is going 1k miles an hour trying to figure out how to right a wrong that I already apologized for and didn't even understand what my role in it was/is. All for the sake of saving the relationship. Some times those relationships aren't the ones that need saving and that's ok. We must understand that everything has a season. Everything has an expiration date. Everything has a resurrection date too whether it's with you or without you. Everything will come full circle just as the universe has planned it to be. When you're in the wilderness, climb those trees you can't see past so that you're high enough to enjoy the beauty of the valley below.

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER

FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM

Photo Credit: stocksy.com

Not Everybody Is Ready to Receive You


Laying in bed as I write this blog post for the week and it dawned on me that I allowed someone into my space both literally and figuratively only to find out the timing was off. The feeling of being connected in that moment was something I had lost in my quest to wholeness and self preservation. I'd become so guarded that nothing was getting through if I was the one in control. Well needless to say my guard came down. Imagine being in the backseat of a limo and that little window or partition rolls down a tiny bit where you can see the driver's eyes in the rearview mirror as he or she is speaking to you. Got that visual? Yea that's how much my guard went down and that was too much.

When it comes to my family and friends I'm extremely guarded as to not introduce them to anyone. When I allow someone into my space that I feel is "introductory worthy", that's when you know you're in. I wasn't looking for anyone and it kinda just all happened at once. Just as fast as it happened...it unhappened. Timing was "right" in the moment but in reality it wasn't. The connection and energy is strong as hell, yet the timing isn't.

Being caught up in a moment of normality is an amazing feeling. Especially when you've been out of it for so long. A very good guy friend of mine said to me "my mom always told me to reflect on what you can change and have memories of what you wanna keep". That statement resonated with me because that's exactly who I am.

I was told I'm the full package. I mean I agree yet at the same time it's one of those "it's me not you" deals. With that said, it tells me that everyone is not ready for my energy. Just as they are not ready for me, I'm not ready for them. In order to be all you can be, you have to be that for yourself before you can even think about being it for someone else.

Continue to love yourself and understand that everybody is not ready to "receive you" as one of my girlfriends so eloquently said during one of our conversations. Although you're not ready to be received in a intimate relationship aspect, if you so desire, you can be there to support others through their own journey of transformation. Not everyone is ready for your energy....remember that.

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR Wilson, Founder

FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com


Photo Credit: Alexandra Khitrova

Invisible in Plain Sight

There will come a time in your life where you have to separate yourself from certain people, places and things yet remain relevant in your own space. You become invisible in plain sight in order to survive and shield yourself. For a very long time I was that person. I find myself reverting back at times because I'm not a fan of the dramatics of life.

Being invisible in plain sight can be a curse and a blessing. A curse because you literally just cut people out of your life, certain things out of your life, stop going places all to maintain your own survival. The blessing of being invisible in plain sight is that you're able to reflect and focus on yourself. You no longer put other people's issues before your own. Taking care of your own business becomes your priority and not a secondary response.

You'll know when it's your time to be invisible in plain sight. No one can tell you when that is based on when they had to do the same thing. They won't be able to even tell you when you're done with that piece of your life. Please don't be mistaken...this life revelation can happen more than once. As a matter of fact, it's a good thing that it happens multiple times in one's life because we all have to readjust depending on what's going on.

Remain invisible in plain sight so that you can take the time to take care of yourself. You have to do what's best for you and your situation.

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com 

In Search of REASSURANCE

When I'm in need of reassurance in anything I will go into self defense mode. It's become my natural reaction since everything transpired in my previous marriage. I'm working on not self sabotaging things, yet at the same time being overly cautious is where my comfort lies. I'm a confident beautiful mixed soul when it comes to many things...except in a relationship. Like my therapist says..."you're waiting on the shoe to fall all the time". I had to agree because it's true. It's safe to say I have anxiety about being in a relationship. This wonderful diagnosis of relational anxiety has afforded me yes....more therapy! Now don't get me wrong, I love my middle aged white woman with black tendencies because she keeps shit real real with me! Yet I would love to be at a place in my life and relational that would allow me not to be in therapy. I've been with the same therapist off and on since 2010/2011 and she knows IT ALL! Welp...guess I'll be there until I'm kicked off this ride.

Self sabotaging is a real thing just in case some of you are questioning my very own reflection of myself. When I'm into someone or something I tend to throw myself into it. Once I begin to get comfortable my mind is going 10k miles an hour to try and find a way out because of my own insecurities. Just like I pep talked myself into it, I can pep talk myself out of it and put the wheels in motion faster than the winner of the Indy 500! I'm learning to just let things be. Enjoy the moment and live in the moment. It's work and I'm a work in progress.

I love the thought of love and embracing it. What I don't like about love is the uncertainty of it all. When I'm happy, I'm cautiously happy and that can cripple anything in place. Fortunately I have encountered someone who understands where I am and is willing to help navigate through it all. The process is long yet necessary and a lifelong one if you're ever planning to have peace in life. Allow yourself to experience your best self and allow your best self to be experienced. Live...love...live some more and laugh uncontrollably often.

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com 

What You Want Ain't What You Need

Moving on from a longstanding relationship is hard. It doesn't matter if it was a good one or a bad one, either way when it's time to move on after it has ended there will be some reservation or hesitation. Often times when thinking of moving on, I am crippled with fear. Fear that it will not work out so just forget it. That has kept me captive from moving on to another relationship. I still have anxiety that things will not work out.

Then someone comes along who says all the right things. Does all the right things, yet and still I have reservations because of my own insecurities. Yes yes I know I can do anything and I'm a beacon of light when it comes to empowering others, but when it comes to this relationship thing, I'm just suspicious of everything. I'm trying to manage it all and give people benefit of doubt. I have zero problems with telling them I have trust issues and I have no plans on being in a relationship. Well sometimes our plans are not our own. I found myself longing for that afterall.

Hell I was once told that in order to get to what you need you have to let go of what you want. That's a deep statement. The reality is once you get what you need, it was everything you wanted and you don't even know it. My "type" was 6ft and over, 250 lbs and up with dark skin. That's all I was attracted to. I looked past everyone that didn't meet that "perfect for me" profile. Let me be the first to tell you that didn't work out for me. It wasn't until I started looking beyond my expectations that I saw what I truly needed. I know you're waiting for me to describe him...but naw imma leave this right here.

One of my favorite post on social media is "I'm single so if you see me with someone, mind your business. I'm doing interviews." People are quick to jump all in your kool aid with the flavor being wrong and the sugar missing. Understand that when I want people to know about my life, they will. I mean that's Captain Obvious hence the blog!

If you haven't found your "type", if I may suggest a solution, change your outlook. You may be missing out on what you need which is exactly what you want.

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com

Puzzled to Say the Least

Help me to understand why it's you I should choose

What makes you different from what I've already had? You're still just a man

You say all the right things and do everything you say you're going to do
I mean some things a girl is just not use to

Truths and no lies you say
Stop is there such a thing? Is there such a way? You and your wizardry is enticing to me
But I have questions you see
I'm puzzled to say the least

Help me to understand why it's you I should choose
What makes you different from what I've already had? You're still just a man

We have the same stories written in a different book
If we appeared in a mirror we would share the same look
I'm skeptical about what you bring to the table 

Not because you can't or not able
But I have questions you see
I'm puzzled to say the least

It's different for me just like it is for you
I guess we will let things do what they do
It's crazy how understanding this thing is such a beast
I'm puzzled to say the least

Sweet Dreams Collection

*I own the rights to this cited work*

#findyourhappy

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com

I Want It All!

My soul was awakened when I heard India Arie's new song "Steady Love" featuring David Banner. I remember a time when I was so very much in love with my husband. Then all this other stuff happened. Through the years, although we had our ups and downs, my love for him never wavered. Now let's be real if nothing else...if you've ever had an affair or cheated or whatever you want to call it, there is a brief moment of "blindness" that occurs. Let me tell you why! Uh because you're blinded by the situation and what it has to offer. . .in the moment. Once the blinders are removed, you see a different perspective. .of EVERYTHING!

Steady Love made me feel like there is hope again to have that. It's honest, refreshing and feel good. I promised myself that I would just do me from now on. Love is too hard and too much work I said. I've shielded my heart, mind and soul from disappointment. Some of you are judging right now saying "well she had that and didn't keep it". The reality is no one knows what goes on behind closed doors unless you're there. I've been very transparent because it is part of my journey to heal. Until you can truly be honest with yourself about who you are...people will only see you as you are. MESSAGE!

Back to Steady Love! Yea so I want that in my life I think at times. Other times I do not want to be bothered with explanations or other people's issues. I definitely do not want to continue to compromise who I am in order to appease someone else's ego or existence. Now THAT will not happen. Being single is both a blessing and a dangerous curse. Once you know that you can do all that was done as a couple by yourself...babbbbbyyy let me tell you. Somebody in for a rude awakening! I will "bye" quicker than grits in boiling water! If you're from the South or know anything about cooking grits, you know what I'm talking about. If not....ummmmm....yea how about you just keep subscribing, sharing and posting my blog!

If you haven't heard Steady Love, check it out! "And then she had hope again!"

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM 

Free Time is Always Me Time!

Sometime in life we need to step away from the hustle and bustle of life just to enjoy some free time that's only about ME TIME! As women, in general, most of us possess that magnificent skill of multitasking EVERYONE'S lives in order to keep things working like a fine tuned machine. We NEED to make time for ourselves in order to keep functioning at our very best.

Most recently my bestie love and I took a random let's just book it trip to Myrtle Beach. It was definitely needed for both of us to regroup and re-energize. We were so damn lazy we made a new Webster Dictionary definition. Lazy (adjective)...we ain't doing shit we don't want to do and don't have to! It was very relaxing and needed happen! Free time can always be me time if you make up your mind to make it happen.

Now listen, I'm not talking to those of you who DO NOT think twice about leaving your responsibility because lets face it...you're selfish. Yep I said it! Some people truly don't give a damn about others and they don't hesitate to LIVE THEIR BEST LIVES while putting other responsibilities on the back burner or completely dismiss them. I'm not that girl! I take care of business first and then I play. I work hard and play even harder when it's time.

Stop and take time for yourself. It's healthy! It's wholesome! It's pure! It's ALL LOVE! SELF LOVE 💞💞

#FINDYOURHAPPY

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM

Dinner and the Do!

So for the last year or so I have been on several "outings" with guys. I dare not call them dates because that what allude to the fact that I'm dating them and that is definitely not the case. Now that we have clarified that minor detail, I got questions! See I've been out the game for 20+ years and although I'm a quick learner, guys these days puzzle me!

For instance, I'm pretty straight forward about my expectations and furthermore what we will and won't be doing! In today's day and time...they ain't ready! I have absolutely zero problems letting them know "yes you can wine and dine me but we will not be Netflix and chilling!" I was having a conversation with some guys and they're take was if I buy you dinner we will be sleeping together. I said what the hell....for dinner? I am NOT that one love.

Hell I'm into numbers and alphabets at my age! 401K, IRA, credit scores, mortgage payments, car payments and such. Even when I was younger I was not that girl! Like why would you think we would be sleeping together because you bought me dinner?? I guess different strokes for different folks! Now let's get this perfectly clear, I'm not a gold digger but I am into gold if you hear what I'm saying. If you can't figure that out....you definitely are not in my lane.

I don't knock people for what they do because let's face it...I ain't no saint! I do however expect to be respected and you should too. Now if that's your thing...dinner and the do...do you. That's just not for me. Everything is not for everybody and that's ok. At the end of the day you are in control of what will and won't happen. Never be afraid of voicing what works for YOUR LIFE! They will either get on board or get out the way!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM

R&R

After some much needed R&R (reflection
revelation) time we are back!!! During this time, I've had the opportunity to look at my past behaviors and embrace the true meaning of reflection and revelation. I reflected upon how my actions allowed me to be where I am today. It was also revealed to me that this "place" I'm in is somewhere I never want to be again in life.

This "place" is not being in a relationship. My freedom is wonderful! I love not arguing...not being responsible or pressured to make someone else happy and not having to answer to anyone. I love coming and going as I please without explanation. It's very freeing I must say!

Now here's the hiccup! I also love being part of a union. Without all that extra bullshit. Yessss I understand no relationship is perfect and I get that. Hell if no one does...I do! I've lived a very peaceful yet lonely life these past few years. Then I begin to ask the question...am I willing to give up all of what I have attained to be in a relationship? I've done alot of work to get to this place emotionally and mentally in order to actually be alone.

NEWS FLASH!!! Now being alone and being lonely are two different things! You can be in a full blown relationship and still be lonely. Being alone is the physical sense of being. Being lonely is the actual feeling that is felt. There were times that I felt lonely in my previous relationship. To be quite honest I need attention and sometimes alot of it because I can most definitely be extra! Once I have your attention...your full attention...then I can go back to the normality of things. It might even sound selfish to want this from someone especially with all they have on their plates. At the end of the day if I'm not getting what I need, that side of your plate will be empty.

I'm a very vocal person. So if I tell you what I need or want...it's not a pretest...your taking the exam. I can be snappy and defensive when I'm feeling like I don't have your attention. Now when you come in with the "fake" attention...I can't! Don't give me the attention I've been asking for once I no longer want or need your attention. You can't just go back and make that happen because it's not real.

Everything takes work if it's going to be good. None of us are perfect and at the end of the day communication....healthy communication is the key to a good healthy relationship.

With that said....I'll wrap this comeback with #sheready!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Website: channelingtequila.blogspot.com

Searching for Wholeness

What does it truly mean to be "whole"? This is something I'm still trying to figure out. It's like an neverending story that continues to evolve or fall back every time I THINK I'm getting to where I need to be in order to feel whole. I'm searching for something but I can't quite put my finger on it. Each day a new "whole" emerges and I start the cycle all over again trying to get there. I've come to the conclusion that it's not about my job or my daily interactions in life. It's more about filling a void that I haven't quite figured out.

Being whole can encompass alot of things and many different things for different people. Mine is more emotional wholeness. I've been told over the last week that I wear my emotions on my sleeve. As hard as I am outside, I'm a mess on the inside. I go straight to survival and repair mode when someone impales my emotional wall. Hell I start rebuilding what is broken the moment it hits my brain cells! I don't give anything time to linger. It's how I'm built. Resilience is my friend!

Back to the question of being whole. How does one even know they have arrived to wholeness? Does it ever happen? Will I just walk in circles continuously without ever getting to "whole"? These are questions that I need answers to. It's tiring walking around in repair mode all the time. I have big trust issues on top of everything. Hell you could tell me the sky is blue and I would ask why you're lying to me. Yes...everyone is suspect. As I type this, I've identified one void that must be filled...trust. I'm a work in progress so there ya go!

For years I've always taken care of everything placing my emotions on the back burner in order to accommodate others. At this point in my life I literally do not care if people walk out my life. It's what I've grown accustomed to so I cry and move right along as much as I know how. Now there are some that walk away and I could careless if they ever resurfaced on earth. Yes I'm that girl.

The best advice I can give myself right now is to just be patient....wholeness is coming. I'm very open to discussion about finding wholeness. What I'm not open to is someone's advice as it brings in religion. Yes I know God and yes I believe in Jesus Christ. Yes I know that through it all God provides everything we need. That's not what I'm looking for. If I wanted a sermon, I would go to church. I want real life dialogue from those who have been where I am. With that said....until next time #findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Website: channelingtequila.blogspot.com