So let me run this by y'all. Have you ever had the feeling that this has to be it and only to find out...ummm this is NOT IT!? Many things go on from day to day in my life as well as yours I'm sure; however some days are way more questionable than others. When I say questionable I'm referring to when I'm asking myself questions about decisions I am making or not making for that matter.
Most recently I had my 45th birthday!! Yesss it was a good one, yet I find myself still compromising or thinking that I'm compromising when it comes to pursuing a relationship. This is just not a romantic relationship either....since clearly that has gone nowhere but even in platonic relationships. I had a conversation with one of my friends and I told him I think I'm ready for a partner. This of course made him ask all these other questions....you know how ya'll men do instead of just getting to the main question! Basically he wanted to know what I'm looking for. I explained to him that I'm looking for "A monogamous relationship where we both help each other build...travel and love life. If marriage happens cool if not cool. I just want reciprocity. I give wayyyy too much because that's who I am. The return is not so good. Everybody I meet in a relationship. I'm not good in the side chick role." I want what I want and sometimes my wants overshadow my needs. All that healthy response from me and he says "well said". Now what in all the hell does that mean?
It means that he ain't ready sis! But he couldn't just say that. Although we're not an item at the same time we could be. Again...that's me wanting what I want and not necessarily what I need. The running joke is me waiting on someone to break into my home to sweep me off my feet because I'm not out looking. I have a wedding coming up in a few months and once again I will be at the table alone...potentially...with couples. Getting the side eye. I mean I appreciate the invites and the social time, but it does become a little "Groundhog Dayish"! So ummm yea I'll keep you all posted on that whole thing.
As far as friendships, I adore, cherish and appreciate the ones that are real. Let me clarify what I mean. There are some "friendships" that are "associated" and there are some that are "real". Those real ones stand the test of time through rough patches and all. The ones where you fight and then you pick up right where you left off after the fight lol! I can laugh about it because I'm that person. I will let you have your moment just like I need mine and then start over right where we left off. Those kind I love!
Wellllll peeps...I said all this to say when you stay ready you don't have to get ready! Everything is not always what we want it to be and relationships will come and go. The ones that matter will always matter and will always be there. I'm ready for what's to come and I'm humble enough to allow things to manifest where they are. What's for me is for me and I'll just sit right here waiting.
#findyourhappy
With Love,
LR Wilson, Founder
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