Breaking Down to Your Breakthrough

When I tell y'all I don't look like what I've been through and what I'm going through...it's all a blessing! This week has been extremely trying, tiring and draining. If you've ever sold a house, you know part of the traumatic event I am going through. Yes I said traumatic shit! When you've been in your comfort zone and then suddenly or not so sudden, you have to adjust your life in order to accommodate your new life after divorce, it's trying, tiring and traumatic. I'm a strong woman but there comes a time when that strength is broken because as a strong woman I need stronger women in my corner to help navigate this Breakdown to get to my Breakthrough!

People who really know me know that I don't ask for help, yet I'm always willing to help others in need. If I reach out for help help...you know I'm in desperate need and that in itself is a redflag for those who know me. I'm just not cut like that and I firmly believe that I will be rewarded for helping others. I will go and go and go giving all over without asking for anything in return. This is yes a blessing and a curse because I find myself back in the same situation of not helping myself. This is when my mental and emotional state begin to digress.

This week I have cried because I was overwhelmed trying to hold it altogether. I couldn't. I was done and felt defeated. I felt as if my world was all crashing down. I had that feeling of being smothered alive. Imagine being placed in a grave, alive, dirt being thrown onto you and slowly you begin to have trouble breathing because you're suffocating. I mean yea one might say I watch too much ID CHANNEL, but the feeling was real and intense. I was being smothered alive with life's happenings. It was one thing after another beginning with money being spent that I had not allotted to spend. Plans changed because money had to be spent elsewhere. This house I loved so much 12 years ago, well just like my marriage....we're done!

I had a FULL COMPLETE BREAKDOWN! I was reminded by one of my sister-in-law's that everything will be ok. It will all work out. Although it may not seem like it and I'm ready to be done, it's not time. Trust and believe she said...when it's the right time you will get everything you deserve and more. That resonated with me because I truly believe in things happening in God's time.

Earlier in the day my very good friend reminded me that we are friends and he is here to help. Of course I said I would let him know, yet didn't. He continually reminds me that's what friends are for. I know this, but I never want to feel like a burden to anyone and I absolutely despise owing anybody. He hates when I do that because we are friends and I need to work on accepting help. I'm a work in progress.

My girlfriend Peaches knew something was off the with me, but of course I don't say anything. Finally she got the text. "I'm tired". Men...when a woman says those words....game over. She rallied me with her kind and inspirational words. When asked what she could do to help. "Nothing but thank you" I said. Well my girlfriend Jenny, the rebel, got that same message, didn't listen to me about not needing anything, got in her truck, drove to me with Patron and all the fixings. She never was good at following directions anyway. I needed that...but didn't know it. I mean the Patron always, but her presence is what I'm talking about. I went from Breakdown to Breakthrough in the hour plus she came to comfort me. We laughed, listened to music, talked and drank Patron on the patio of the house that's stressing me. We were Channeling Tequila!

Sometimes the strongest part of being a woman or a man isn't declining help...it's accepting it. I had to Breakdown to get to my Breakthrough! I'm ready....

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
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Photo Credit: Heat Ministries