People have asked me "when do you know you're done?" My answer is and always will be "you don't know until you know." There will be signs, symbols and fire falling from the sky...but until that one thing happens to change your whole perception of your situation to the reality of it. .yes the reality of it...you truly are not done. The mind is a powerful tool; however the heart is the most powerful. You can think all day long that you're done and even implement into your daily activities the art of "being done". When the heart steps in and shows you that you're not. .it will take a mighty rushing wind to remind you of why you're done or to validate that you're done.
I was separated for almost three years. Although the beginning of the separation was extremely rocky for me the first year and a half, I got through it. I had my ups and downs but at the end of the day I was saying and displaying I was done. Well I wasn't but didn't know it. My mind said I was but my heart wouldn't allow me to be. I tried everything in my being to make the two match. That was a challenge indeed because I wasn't ready. I was a chameleon!
Fast forward to the very first divorce hearing. Well honey you could've poured me into a cup. I had no idea all those feelings and emotions would be just sitting there waiting to emerge. Bottled up for almost three years. Uh....yea they hit like a damn monsoon and everybody in my presence saw and felt my heart, mind, body and soul that day. Lo and behold my previous significant other made a request in court that pierced my very being. My head must've turned around like the exorcist at that moment. He requested that I was ordered to change my last name. Jesus! Let me tell y'all right now everything that my heart and mind didnt connect with...connected immediately!
That's what I needed! After all this time...that is exactly what I needed to STICK A FORK IN IT!
Of everything we have been through of the decades we were together, NOTHING could've compared to that moment. So that's when I knew I was done. Yes I was out living my best life after my depression and suicidal thoughts stage, but I wasn't whole yet. There were still pieces of me lingering about. Shyyyyttt....those puzzle pieces aligned at that moment baby! Now I would be lying if I said I still didnt have love for him because I do. We were together for decades and we have children together. We didnt have bad times all the time we were together but when they were bad...they were bad. The good times were glorious and quite frankly outweigh the bad times, but at the end of the day....I knew that we were done.
Most recently I posted a message that said "females break up mentally before they break up physically. A guy can think he gas her on lock while laying beside her but her mind is in another place. BE CAREFUL HOW YOU TREAT HER BECAUSE ONCE YOU LOSE THE HEAD THE BODY FOLLOWS and that's real shit".
I'll leave this right here! STICK A FORK IN IT!
#findyourhappy
With Love,
LR WILSON, Founder
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