The Lying Truth

In this day and age there should be no grown men and women lying. Yea I just put it out there. There is no such thing as a white lie, a little lie or lying by omission. I'm here to tell you, it's all a LIE! Now let me make this PERFECTLY clear, I have lied in my lifetime. I did not stumble upon this nugget of truth until I was older and more mature.

There are times when you will need to lie. But are there? Some people lie out of protection. They are protecting something or someone. Now that I know better, how about I just not talk about this part because the reality is if I'm keeping someone safe, I will be lying just in case this confused you. No...it's not right, but if it came to life or death being thrown in my hands to prevent it, although I'm not in control of life or death, I will be choosing life.

I'll never forget when being questioned about my infidelity I really thought it was a trick question. Although it had been long gone and over with two years before and I chose to divulge the information, I was confused. Here's the confusion! The question was "so why did you lie?" (Insert blank stare) My responding question was "what are you talking about?" I was really confused. "Why did you lie?" was repeated. I then said "because that's what people do when you're trying to hide something." That was the Lying Truth. At that moment I realized I no longer had to lie. I had to literally open my mouth and say that! The weight that was lifted off my soul! Once I said that, the feeling is something I can not even explain. I felt PURE FREEDOM!

I thought by getting everything out and in the open we could repair, restore and reunite our marriage. Well I'm here to tell you once again....that did NOT happen! As a matter of fact things got worse and we were not even together. I found out other truths and lies that I wasn't involved in. Although painful, it needed to happen so we both could own our truths. I can only speak for myself and I know that mine are owned.

The Lying Truth is something very powerful. If you can get to a point in your life where you don't have to lie...being your true self in every truth of your life....you have arrived to TRUE FREEDOM! You don't have to be mean or do things out of malice, but you do have to be honest with yourself before you can be with anyone else. Yes, it is a process and one that continually evolves. You will continually be tested. Choose what's just and right. Be the Lying Truth!

#findyourhappy

With Love
LR Wilson, Founder

FB Page: Channeling Tequila
IG: @channelingtequila
Email: channelingtequila@gmail.com
Website: channelingtequila.blogspot.com

When Goodbye Became Hello!

Saying goodbye has been one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. Yes, of course, we say it everyday as we leave because it's out of courtesy. The goodbye I'm talking about is indicative of a funeral service. If you've ever attended a funeral service you understand that the person is never coming back. As harsh as it may be, you accept that. At some point you grieve and move on with your life as much as you can.

To much of my surprise saying goodbye to my marriage, relationship, former lifestyle was extremely hard for me...in the beginning. When I say beginning, I'm talking about the first almost two years! Yes it took that long despite how much I wanted to be and thought I was done. After I was able to understand, recognize and accept my own shortcomings in this whole thing, that's when goodbye became hello!

Hello to the me that I've been putting on the back burner to do everything that someone else needed done. Hello to my own happiness now that I wasn't focused on making sure everyone else was happy. Hello to the power of saying no and meaning it because I no longer had to say yes to keep the peace. Hello to my single voice in making decisions that made the most sense to me and I no longer had to understand or question why a decision was being made that I didn't agree with. When goodbye became hello was a blessing in disguise although painful.

I've been extremely transparent in my writings. I'm here to tell you that once you allow yourself to be open and honest with who you are...the good...the bad...the ugly...the stanky truth, you will finally reach a level of freedom for yourself. Say goodbye to everything that hinders your growth. At the end of the day, YOU are the common denominator and only YOU can transform into YOUR HELLO!

#findyourhappy

LR WILSON, Founder
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
Website: channelingtequila.blogspot.com 

When the Yoke Broke

As puzzling as it may be let me first explain this blog post has absolutely nothing to do with cooking eggs sunnyside up! It also has nothing to do with cooking eggs over easy. Quite frankly it has nothing to do with eggs period! Because if it did, it would be spelled yolk! Moment of silence for those who had that confusion most of their lives and was just given clarity! But honey let me tell you...not even I can pinpoint When the Yoke Broke!

The academia definition of the word yoke in the verb tense is "couple" or "attach with". That is the definition that will be used for the purpose of this post. Now that everyone is up to speed...I need to let you know that I have been thinking, assessing, doing do overs in my mind, questioning when and where did the breakdown in my marriage occur? At what point did we get to When the Yoke Broke?

Was it broke before we even got married? Did it happen in the first, second, fifth year? What caused it? Is there anything I could have done to stop it? You know I'm a fix it type of person so it would've been in my psyche to make things right....had I known the answers to the questions posed. Then I say "self there is nothing or no one that could've prepared you or told you this would be the outcome." Hell I got questions! Yes...I am aware that is grammatically incorrect; however it needed to be said just like that so you can feel what I'm feeling through the words on this page.

For many years I blamed myself solely for the demise that happened in my marriage. The reality is that it wasn't just me. It was everything that consumed me. I loved this man with all my being. The funny thing is everyone could see it, but him. I continually found myself trying to prove my love to him. It happened through my words, my gifts, my attention but it never seemed to be enough. I can't answer why that is because I was the one thinking it was enough. Some would argue that if you love someone you don't have an affair or cheat if you're not married. Well I mean arguably so there is some truth in that...partially. My truth is all that I am at liberty to share.

In my opinion the focus should be on why the affair or the cheating happened not whether or not you love the person. You can still love that person and be in love with them. The issue at hand is what's missing that allowed you to make the decision to step outside the relationship? Is it something that can be fixed? Are you willing to take on the responsibility of owning your own shit? Or the ultimate question are you so broken that option is off the table?? Get to the root of it all. Be transparent! Defining When the Yoke Broke is the key!

I can honestly say that pinpointing When the Yoke Broke is like looking for a needle in a haystack when it comes to the demise of not only my marriage but the relationship as a whole. This was my friend, my confidant, my earthly provider, my security, father of my children, traveling partner, drinking partner, act silly partner, lazy love. He was my everything! When I tell y'all I loved this man...I loved this man. Thinking about it makes me sad because there was so much we were to do together but God saw fit that it was not so.

This whole ordeal has really changed the way I process for sure. Pretty much anything that resembles a relationship, I have successfully dodged by choice. Well first and foremost my divorce isn't final; but most importantly is that I'm not ready or even know if ever I will be able to love anyone other than myself intimately again. The work I had to do mentally and emotionally to get to where I am today will not be in vain. Who's to say that one day it might happen, but I'm not counting on it...for sure. Before you get to analyzing me as giving him the power...that's not the issue. I just refuse to love anyone else more than I love myself again and therefore I know that I can depend on me and I trust that I will never hurt myself. Yea and I'm ok with that. With that said, I'll keep hope alive but it definitely won't be my focus. It very well could happen. I know not the plans of God. I mean if I did, I'm pretty sure this blog would be something very different.

Whoever is reading this in contemplation stage, pinpoint When the Yoke Broke and do what's best for YOU. The rest will fall into place. Unidentified or untreated emotional trauma is real. Until you can deal with you...the REAL YOU...everything else is obsolete. Take the mask off and face the person in the mirror so that your healing can happen from the inside out.

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA WEBSITE: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM

BONUS BLOG! Be Careful Who You Put Your Mouth On!

Be careful who you put your mouth on! Before I get all up in your business let me tell you a little bit about mine. I'm a person that will sit back and listen to people. I observe and I chime in as appropriate. What I won't do is entertain drama or lie on people. Some will have others to believe that's who I am and here's why....they are broken. Broken not because of my doing but because of their own. Anytime you try to destroy someone by talking about them...you better be careful who you put your mouth on! My motto has and always will be "I will tell yours and mine because I tell the whole story...not just what will make me look good."

As I was conversing with a very good friend she said to me "God has been showing me so much in 2018. Good, bad and ugly. Not just with my so call friends and family but with myself as well. Through it all, people that set out to harm me has to deal with my Heavenly Father." My reply "Well if that ain't a mouthful..pun intended." Be careful who you put your mouth on! Not everything and everyone is in need of your blessing. The one that you think you are giving them when in reality you are trying to shut them down.

Perfect example! I was once told I will endure God's wrath because I stopped being a damn fool and put my foot down to not be used anymore. I'm no saint or Bible thumper but those who know me know that I'm serious about my God...even when I'm not doing all I should be..so for someone to say that to me in the days of me not knowing who or whose I am...I would have been backtracking and trying to resolve the wrong. Ummm...but I didn't this time because it wasn't me in the wrong...it was the person using me. If you've been reading my blogs you will know that my kindness is definitely my weakness. When I make up my mind that I'm done...I'm done. Be careful who you put your mouth on!

I refuse to allow anyone or anything to continue to make me feel as if I'm unworthy or disloyal in my dealings and invalidate my feelings. The main people who are spewing those toxins onto you are the very people who need to be eliminated from your life. I don't know who need to hear this right now but here it is! Be careful who you put your mouth on!

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR Wilson, Founder
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA Website: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM

DON'T BE AFRAID!

Fear is one of the most prominent emotions we all possess...for the most part. When we don't know what the future holds, we automatically become afraid. Not because of the outcome, but because we are embarking on the process to get to the outcome. It's the unknown we fear. I'm here to tell you...DON'TBE AFRAID. Everything that the enemy used for your demise will be used for your glory in the midst of the storm.

You will be told and/or shown all the reasons why you won't make it without them. While all the time you've been the one holding on to them and making sure they make it. Despite all the things that I've been through during these difficult times of separation and divorce I had to embrace that motto "Don't Be Afraid." These are desperate times and call for desperate measures for some. There is no hurt like the hurt you feel when people you care about are out to make sure you fail. Even if it's not their intention, it feels that way because you know what you would and wouldn't do to/for them regardless of the situation. The reality is this is a person you once loved and cared about. Plus I believe wholeheartedly in karma.

I have spoken with many people, both men and women in relationships either ending or done, who I have had to remind that they are more than what their exes have tried to make them believe. Go and pick up your confidence, your beauty, your determination, your talent on the back burner, your being and DON'T BE AFRAID!
Everything happens for a reason and within the timing of the universe.

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR Wilson, Founder

FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG:@CHANNELINGTEQUILA WEBSITE: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM 

STICK A FORK IN IT!

STICK A FORK IN IT!

People have asked me "when do you know you're done?" My answer is and always will be "you don't know until you know." There will be signs, symbols and fire falling from the sky...but until that one thing happens to change your whole perception of your situation to the reality of it. .yes the reality of it...you truly are not done. The mind is a powerful tool; however the heart is the most powerful. You can think all day long that you're done and even implement into your daily activities the art of "being done". When the heart steps in and shows you that you're not. .it will take a mighty rushing wind to remind you of why you're done or to validate that you're done.

I was separated for almost three years. Although the beginning of the separation was extremely rocky for me the first year and a half, I got through it. I had my ups and downs but at the end of the day I was saying and displaying I was done. Well I wasn't but didn't know it. My mind said I was but my heart wouldn't allow me to be. I tried everything in my being to make the two match. That was a challenge indeed because I wasn't ready. I was a chameleon!

Fast forward to the very first divorce hearing. Well honey you could've poured me into a cup. I had no idea all those feelings and emotions would be just sitting there waiting to emerge. Bottled up for almost three years. Uh....yea they hit like a damn monsoon and everybody in my presence saw and felt my heart, mind, body and soul that day. Lo and behold my previous significant other made a request in court that pierced my very being. My head must've turned around like the exorcist at that moment. He requested that I was ordered to change my last name. Jesus! Let me tell y'all right now everything that my heart and mind didnt connect with...connected immediately!
That's what I needed! After all this time...that is exactly what I needed to STICK A FORK IN IT!

Of everything we have been through of the decades we were together, NOTHING could've compared to that moment. So that's when I knew I was done. Yes I was out living my best life after my depression and suicidal thoughts stage, but I wasn't whole yet. There were still pieces of me lingering about. Shyyyyttt....those puzzle pieces aligned at that moment baby! Now I would be lying if I said I still didnt have love for him because I do. We were together for decades and we have children together. We didnt have bad times all the time we were together but when they were bad...they were bad. The good times were glorious and quite frankly outweigh the bad times, but at the end of the day....I knew that we were done.

Most recently I posted a message that said "females break up mentally before they break up physically. A guy can think he gas her on lock while laying beside her but her mind is in another place. BE CAREFUL HOW YOU TREAT HER BECAUSE ONCE YOU LOSE THE HEAD THE BODY FOLLOWS and that's real shit".

I'll leave this right here! STICK A FORK IN IT!

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR WILSON, Founder
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @channelingtequila
Website: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM