Dinner and the Do!

So for the last year or so I have been on several "outings" with guys. I dare not call them dates because that what allude to the fact that I'm dating them and that is definitely not the case. Now that we have clarified that minor detail, I got questions! See I've been out the game for 20+ years and although I'm a quick learner, guys these days puzzle me!

For instance, I'm pretty straight forward about my expectations and furthermore what we will and won't be doing! In today's day and time...they ain't ready! I have absolutely zero problems letting them know "yes you can wine and dine me but we will not be Netflix and chilling!" I was having a conversation with some guys and they're take was if I buy you dinner we will be sleeping together. I said what the hell....for dinner? I am NOT that one love.

Hell I'm into numbers and alphabets at my age! 401K, IRA, credit scores, mortgage payments, car payments and such. Even when I was younger I was not that girl! Like why would you think we would be sleeping together because you bought me dinner?? I guess different strokes for different folks! Now let's get this perfectly clear, I'm not a gold digger but I am into gold if you hear what I'm saying. If you can't figure that out....you definitely are not in my lane.

I don't knock people for what they do because let's face it...I ain't no saint! I do however expect to be respected and you should too. Now if that's your thing...dinner and the do...do you. That's just not for me. Everything is not for everybody and that's ok. At the end of the day you are in control of what will and won't happen. Never be afraid of voicing what works for YOUR LIFE! They will either get on board or get out the way!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEB: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM

R&R

After some much needed R&R (reflection
revelation) time we are back!!! During this time, I've had the opportunity to look at my past behaviors and embrace the true meaning of reflection and revelation. I reflected upon how my actions allowed me to be where I am today. It was also revealed to me that this "place" I'm in is somewhere I never want to be again in life.

This "place" is not being in a relationship. My freedom is wonderful! I love not arguing...not being responsible or pressured to make someone else happy and not having to answer to anyone. I love coming and going as I please without explanation. It's very freeing I must say!

Now here's the hiccup! I also love being part of a union. Without all that extra bullshit. Yessss I understand no relationship is perfect and I get that. Hell if no one does...I do! I've lived a very peaceful yet lonely life these past few years. Then I begin to ask the question...am I willing to give up all of what I have attained to be in a relationship? I've done alot of work to get to this place emotionally and mentally in order to actually be alone.

NEWS FLASH!!! Now being alone and being lonely are two different things! You can be in a full blown relationship and still be lonely. Being alone is the physical sense of being. Being lonely is the actual feeling that is felt. There were times that I felt lonely in my previous relationship. To be quite honest I need attention and sometimes alot of it because I can most definitely be extra! Once I have your attention...your full attention...then I can go back to the normality of things. It might even sound selfish to want this from someone especially with all they have on their plates. At the end of the day if I'm not getting what I need, that side of your plate will be empty.

I'm a very vocal person. So if I tell you what I need or want...it's not a pretest...your taking the exam. I can be snappy and defensive when I'm feeling like I don't have your attention. Now when you come in with the "fake" attention...I can't! Don't give me the attention I've been asking for once I no longer want or need your attention. You can't just go back and make that happen because it's not real.

Everything takes work if it's going to be good. None of us are perfect and at the end of the day communication....healthy communication is the key to a good healthy relationship.

With that said....I'll wrap this comeback with #sheready!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Website: channelingtequila.blogspot.com

Searching for Wholeness

What does it truly mean to be "whole"? This is something I'm still trying to figure out. It's like an neverending story that continues to evolve or fall back every time I THINK I'm getting to where I need to be in order to feel whole. I'm searching for something but I can't quite put my finger on it. Each day a new "whole" emerges and I start the cycle all over again trying to get there. I've come to the conclusion that it's not about my job or my daily interactions in life. It's more about filling a void that I haven't quite figured out.

Being whole can encompass alot of things and many different things for different people. Mine is more emotional wholeness. I've been told over the last week that I wear my emotions on my sleeve. As hard as I am outside, I'm a mess on the inside. I go straight to survival and repair mode when someone impales my emotional wall. Hell I start rebuilding what is broken the moment it hits my brain cells! I don't give anything time to linger. It's how I'm built. Resilience is my friend!

Back to the question of being whole. How does one even know they have arrived to wholeness? Does it ever happen? Will I just walk in circles continuously without ever getting to "whole"? These are questions that I need answers to. It's tiring walking around in repair mode all the time. I have big trust issues on top of everything. Hell you could tell me the sky is blue and I would ask why you're lying to me. Yes...everyone is suspect. As I type this, I've identified one void that must be filled...trust. I'm a work in progress so there ya go!

For years I've always taken care of everything placing my emotions on the back burner in order to accommodate others. At this point in my life I literally do not care if people walk out my life. It's what I've grown accustomed to so I cry and move right along as much as I know how. Now there are some that walk away and I could careless if they ever resurfaced on earth. Yes I'm that girl.

The best advice I can give myself right now is to just be patient....wholeness is coming. I'm very open to discussion about finding wholeness. What I'm not open to is someone's advice as it brings in religion. Yes I know God and yes I believe in Jesus Christ. Yes I know that through it all God provides everything we need. That's not what I'm looking for. If I wanted a sermon, I would go to church. I want real life dialogue from those who have been where I am. With that said....until next time #findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Website: channelingtequila.blogspot.com

Be Unforgettable

Later in the week I posted on social media "If I have absolutely no other skill...I have the skill of being UNFORGETTABLE 💞💞💞". Many of my friends and family agreed with this statement. Now before you think I'm out here gloating...please be advised that I am and there is no mistaken what you read lol! I have done alot of things and when I do them, I give 110% in order to make sure the job is done and done well. Perfect story...two years ago I my girlfriend scheduled a spa day for us in Nashville. My masseuse, Juan, oh my...sorry I digressed! He was so professional and so polite. He instructed me to undress to my level of comfort. I asked "what's your level of comfort because I'm about to get butt naked!" He smiled and stepped out like a gentleman as I changed. Once the massage began, which was heavenly, he asked if I wanted him to massage my glutes? I said "stop...you know I want you touching my ass!" He again was very professional and smiled. I caused an uproar in this quiet, peaceful and tranquil spa. All the women wanted Juan when I came out in bliss!! Well that was a beautiful damn massage and I proposed to him afterwards lol! Fast forward to yesterday, my girlfriend was back at that spa and he asked about me as well as the wedding date...lol! Be Unforgettable!

People always seem to remember the bad things you've done and the good things just go by the wayside. Never allow someone to define your shortcomings as your life story. Give them everything they asked for and more so that you will Be Unforgettable!

I look back over my life and the situationships I have been involved in. Hell even in those I have been yep Unforgettable! I have learned to bring the same energy you bring me. It took time for me to get to this place because I love peace in my life which allowed me to welcome a bunch of shit that I didn't have to. Now I can roll with conflict...but I prefer not to. I mean I am a warrior princess damnit so if you bring it...I'll finish it.

To Be Unforgettable you have to bring a certain swag to the game. Stop....you have to be the game! Allow yourself to step out of your comfort zone and experience life! There is no other way to say this. Let your life Be Unforgettable not only to others but for yourself. When you look back you can say "damn I did that!" If you did it right...others will say the same! As you know, we don't NEED the approval of others but we definitely WELCOME IT!

Now get out there and Be Unforgettable!

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR Wilson, Founder

FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Website: channelingtequila.blogspot.com 

The Mindless Heart

🎶 "A heart is a house for love and I've learned that it don't take much to break" 🎶

If you don't hear nothing else today...hear this! The heart has a whole mind of it's own and most of the time it is not aligning with our brain! Yes I said it here first so that you and i can get some things straight. I would like to think that my I intelligence is somewhat high in normal circumstances but when that heart takes the place of your mind and things ain't...yes I said ain't...lining up, there's confusion!

Most recently I had a conversation with a really good friend and we came to the conclusion that the heart is the most powerful of all organs in the body. You simply can not live with it. Periodt! There's no way around it. As much as we try to lock that thing away after being hurt, it's like a damn `mogwai'! Those of you who have seen the movie Gremlins know what I'm talking about. Those of you who haven't...well 1) watch it and 2) shame on you lol! Anyway what happens is a shop owner sells a mogwai to a patron with the warning to never expose him to bright light, water, or to feed him after midnight they multiply and turn into Gremlins. Well that's how the heart is....
Once you start feeding it...at anytime...it begins to multiply.

My heart has been tucked away ever so carefully under a damn deadbolt with steel doors and 24 hour security...to no avail! Sometimes things just find a way of slipping through the cracks very unintentionally. Those are the things I am most worried about. Since my debacle, I've been very carefully orchestrating my exit so my heart is never involved again. As the days past and you're continually shown something that you either haven't experienced, long to experience or experienced it differently in your past and that's what you're not use to, you want to open your heart up more so you can get the whole package. I mean you should want to but there's that whole movie playing in the background of how things use to be.

You can't bring old furniture into a new house and expect things to look differently. That's where I am! I'm a work in progress trying to open myself up to things that don't require my whole heart, but it's hard and alot of work keeping that thing locked away. Then on top of that, I've turned into that girl that gives you zero chances if you fuck up! Like I'm done with chances. You knew what you were doing when you did it so I'm good. Hell now that I write that...I forsee a longstanding relationship with myself lol! Meh...I'm done compromising my happiness. Say what it is and that's how it is...done!

Well this has been eye opening I must say! So the bottom line is....protect your heart at all cost; however understand that you are the keeper of it and who you allow in and out is by YOUR CHOICE...not theirs!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, FOUNDER
FB PAGE: Channeling Tequila
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEBSITE: Channelingtequila.blogspot.com 

What's Really Going On?

Has there ever been a time when you questioned what you were doing? Why you were doing something? What's your purpose for doing that something? Well if you haven't, wonderful! You are indeed unique! Not too long ago I questioned pretty much everything in my life. Sometimes I just have to step back and check in for myself.

This morning as I was walking around, I glanced on the fireplace mantel and saw my Masters Degree. I smiled! Then I read "Graduation with Distinction". For some reason I don't remember reading that at all when I received it. It's been almost five years since I received my graduate degree and although I have a day time job that is very fulfilling, I feel like I need more or need to do more! Anyone who knows me, truly know me, already is aware of how hard I go. So for me to feel like I need more or need to do more is probably insane on my part!

That brings me back to questioning what am I doing? Am I doing enough for not only others but for myself? I am longing for something; however I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Well financial freedom for one is a big thing for me and the more I do...the less I feel like I'm reaching that goal. Yes, things take time I understand that. At the same time I feel I'm behind on what is to be. I will be the first to tell you to live in the moment. I often do that! This moment, feels very different.

What's different? Other than the official paperwork for my divorce that happened...I'm not quite sure. Things I want aren't necessarily the things I need, yet as we all know that's how it goes! *Insert Spice Girls "give me what I want..what I really really want"! Each and every day I am responsible for the lives of others. On top of being responsible for my own life! That's alot of pressure for anybody but hey...make it happen!

Once I figure out what I'm missing....I shall be sure to let you all know! Hell if you figure out what I'm missing...please feel free to let me know! With all things I say to you #findyourhappy!

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: CHANNELING TEQUILA PAGE
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
WEBSITE: CHANNELINGTEQUILA.BLOGSPOT.COM 

Guess What!!??

March is Women's History Month! Well as a woman...go figure...every month to me is in celebration. Here's why! We are a phenomenal breed! I love being a woman...with the exception of "happy time", I have no complaints. More than ever women are being recognized for their contributions to society. Guess what...you don't have to be "famous" to be recognized for your beauty, your intelligence, your sexiness, your POWER!

One of my sisters is very self conscious when it comes to being in public. There's absolutely nothing wrong with her, but she continually thinks about people looking at her. This makes her feel uncomfortable, unsure and anxious. Finally I said to her, "of course they are looking at you...you're famous". I said "stuff like that doesn't bother me because I don't care about what people think of me and you shouldn't either". Well that's easier said than done as I look at things from her point of view.

There will always be things in our lives that make us feel unsure about things. Life is made up of many puzzle pieces and in order to get a full picture of who we truly are, we must be willing to put the pieces together. Yes...there will be that moment when you try to force a piece of the puzzle to fit...and it won't because it doesn't go there.

This reminds me of when I wanted so badly to fix my marriage and I would've done just about anything to make that piece of the puzzle fit. Well clearly that piece didn't work out. The reason why it didn't work out is because that wasn't the puzzle I should've been working on. I had to work on me. It was my time!

I've been in a relationship since I was thirteen years old. I am forty-four now! That's alot of years of not being myself...putting everyone before myself...and not knowing myself. That was the life I chose at the time because I was looking for validation of who I am. Well I've found her!! It took alot of years, tears, disappointments, love and laughs to get here..but hunty I have ARRIVED! Take it or leave it. One of the realest posts I've ever posted on social media reads "once you have a taste of my energy you will always be thirsty". I promise that's all me and the truth! If nobody ever loves me again...I've found out that my love of self is what matters most! Happy Women's History Month! Go make your own legacy!!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Website: channelingtequila.blogspot.com