Branded & Bonded

Often times in life we go through things and we do not understand why!  In the moment, we definitely are not reflecting on what the outcome will be because we are "in the moment"!  Ironically enough for this piece, I was reading the devotional reading for today and the title is "You're Not Stuck - You're Going Through".  We, well I didn't, look at that as a positive.  The positive is you are moving through things and not remaining stagnant.  That's a WONDERFUL THING!  Yea it took me this long and that devotional reading to actually show me it's a good thing to be going through!


Going through my relationship drama I was branded.  Branded as the person who did everything to destroy the marriage.  True enough, I played a part; however I was not alone.  I can only discuss, as I have said time and time again . .my truth . . so that's what I will claim . .my truth!  It amazed me that so many other people knew so much more about me than I knew about myself.  Not just "people" but people who don't even know me had so much to say about what I was branded as to them.  At one point I asked, my then husband, if those people were there with me when I was doing whatever they said I was doing?! I was really confused about my branding when they didn't even know me.  Well lo and behold, a lot of jibber jabber was going on about what they heard.  We all know how the game telephone is played.  My thing is and always have been if you want to know something about me .. ask me.  I will then decide whether or not I want to answer your questions.  It's my right!


Bonded . . now this one is quite lovely I must say.  Recently I went on a girls trip with eight other beautiful, black, educated, fun females to Mexico.  There were nine of us total and six were Delta Sigma Theta . . my dream soro!  When I tell you there is no bond like the sisterhood that they have . .that I have witnessed . .it's real.  We had moments of reflection and complete vulnerability discussing our lives, challenges, past events, current events that have made and molded us into the women we are today.  It was a time of bonding that was so needed for many of us there.  Yes the trip was fun; however that moment of bonding time was essential, needed and accepted.  We came from different parts of the USA, different backgrounds, different educational statuses, different income statuses but at the end of the day we were all on a leveled playing field as we bonded.


When you are going through your moments in life be ready to be BRANDED & BONDED!  You will be branded by what others have seen, said or heard about you.  It's up to you to make sure your brand is true . . should you so desire.  It truly is a choice . .YOUR CHOICE to clarify anything you want to be clarified . .or not!  You can leave it as well.  Just like I did.  Find you a group or a person to bond with in your time of trials.  Sometimes you don't want to be bothered with people . .and Lord knows I get that . . so find something you can bond with to get yourself centered and ready to move forward. For me it's my poetry!!!  I've learned that not everyone is fit to be in my circle and it's ok.  Although I try to be a friend to everyone and help everyone . . it's not healthy for me and I have moved to a selfish lifestyle.  If it doesn't work for me . . .then it ain't happening!  End of story!


One of the most important things I have learned in therapy that I often recite 1) is it kind? 2)  is it true? and 3) is it necessary?  If you can answer all three of these questions without a doubt . . .you are on your way to freedom!  You have #foundYOURhappy


When the brands come flying what will be your response?  Are you equipped to withstand them?  Will you retaliate?  What is your bonding moment, person or people?  Be sure to put something in place so that you too can continue to live your #bestlifegoals!


#findyourhappy


With Love,


LR WILSON, Founder
FB:  Channeling Tequila
IG:  @channelingtequila

THATA GIRL MAGIC!

 Unless you have been living under a rock, I'm pretty sure you have heard of Black Girl Magic!  If not, here's a VERY BRIEF description . . ."celebrate the beauty, power and resilience of black women" was popularized by CaShawn Thompson in 2013 as described in Wikipedia.  Now if you want the FULL information, you can Google "Black Girl Magic" and get all the deets!!  Although I fully embrace Black Girl Magic and yes it's about damn time we are recognized in a positive light for our success, I also wholeheartedly believe in THAT GIRL MAGIC! 

THATA GIRL MAGIC celebrate the accomplishments, success, empowerment and emotional well-being of every woman! There are so many women who have battled depression, suicidal ideations, family disruptions, divorce, heartache/break yet and still they were about to PULL THEMSELVES UP AGAIN and REBUILD!  To you I say claim your THATA GIRL MAGIC!!  Life will throw you blows from every which way both imaginable and unimaginable.  Never would I have thought that after being in a relationship with a man for 20+ years I would be starting over literally from the bottom of rebuilding myself, my sanity, my family, my finances, MY LIFE!  I was solely dependent and complacent in my life with him.  I became stagnant and robotic . . coming and going . .which allowed me to lose self of ME!  I place no blame on him at all, because this was the choice that I made.  The choice of placing myself on the back burner. I'm sure others would beg to differ; however I know what I sacrificed and it was MUCH BIGGER than material things.

If I had not gone through all the things I did in the last three years, I definitely do not believe I would be where I am currently, emotionally, physically and most importantly mentally. THATA GIRL MAGIC allowed me to recognize that I am more than I ever thought I was in the beginning.  I allowed myself so many years of taking control over everything in the household because I was that girl. I took care of everything that involved "running" the household; however the finances were a joint endeavor.  A joint endeavor that ended . . just like my relationship which brought me to a stand still.  I had to activate THATA GIRL MAGIC in order to figure out how to make this household work again on one income.  Although my income alone SHOULD take care of running the household on my own . .it really is a mindshift and I needed supplemental income to assist with making sure not a beat was missed in the house.  My kids did not ask for any of this; therefore I vowed that I would do whatever necessary to keep their lives as "regular" as possible.  BUT GOD!  Yes . . He sat me down and we had a long talk about how my THATA GIRL MAGIC would happen.  AND YES IT HAS!!

Things I've accomplished have been AMAZING in just the last year alone! My THATA GIRL MAGIC kicked in and SLAYED! I stopped shedding tears of a lost relationship in December of 2016 when I asked my husband at that time if he wanted to get back together and work on fixing our marriage.  He was uninterested in doing that.  I said OK . . cried that last cry . .over shots of tequila (obviously . .had to happen with is being an antidepressant . .LOL).  2017 came in and it was ON AND POPPIN!  I began traveling again, I started this blog, I did my first ever OPEN MIC SPOKEN WORD EVENT all in 2017!!  THATA GIRL MAGIC ACTIVATED!!!

2018 rolled in with a BANG!  I hit the pavement running!!  Branded Channeling Tequila with a logo by @meg_global.  Who is AMAZING and gave me everything I wanted my logo to be when I had NO WORDS!!  Website is being designed by him as well so CHECK HIM OUT!!  I branched out and completed my first of many EMPOWERMENT events that was a WONDERFULLY SURPRISED turnout!  It was raw, emotional, safe and healing for all who attended.  IT was more than I could have ever imagined. I support entrepreneurs and it was so inspiring to see young entrepreneur women age 19 branching out their brand!! Go check out Elegant Eyewear on Instagram @eleganteyewear where young entrepreneur Kenedi Wright is taking over the FASHION EYE GAME with #dopeframesonly.  While you're on IG, stop by @laurenmundisjohnson to check out Luxurious Lips!  Other more seasoned entrepreneurs included at the event were Nature's Syrup @naturessyrup by De'Vonna Pttman and Rodan & Fields by Rochelle Wright also on IG @rnfrochelle.  SNATCH BAGS were off the chain as well with gifts from  Kathy Uecker at Perfectly Posh and can be found at https://kathyuecker.po.sh/.  Tai Goodwin-Kastens blessed us with her book Girlfriend It's Your Time!! So very fitting for the event!  A connection I made through a Facebook group and she has been an INSPIRATION!  Please follow her on IG @taigoodwin as well as taigoodwin.com. @hellofringe by Cicely Carr provided a BEAUTIFUL door prize sent all the way from Dallas TX!! You will NOT be SORRY!!

Before I forget . . .another endeavor I have jumped on board with is product reviews! If you are interested in having Channgeling Tequila to review your product or service, I am more than happy to do that for you! You can contact me via email for the details on how to get it going!!

I have reconnected and connected with some wonderfully inspiring women and men that encourage me. . .and I encourage them as well.  THATA GIRL MAGIC is in full affect!!!  BLESSINGS on BLESSINGS on BLESSINGS!  I am ready for 2019!!  So many surprises are in the works for you!!  What will your THATA GIRL MAGIC entail?  Have you activated it??  If not, there is NO TIME like the present!  THATA GIRL!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, Founder
IG: @channelingtequila
FB:  Channeling Tequila page
Email:  channelingtequila@gmail.com

Website to come!!

Don't Touch My Cheese!

If you ever read the Book Who Moved My Cheese, you know alot about Hem and Haw!  Now if you haven't read it, you should probably do so!  It's a lesson of change, stagnation, and most importantly how to embrace change and make the best of it.  Everyday in life we have the ability to make changes.  How those changes are made is solely our responsibility.  We have to decide what's best for our situation and to make the changes necessary.  Change is hard . .hella hard!  But without it, inevitably we will remain the same and miss out on so many things.

This past weekend I hosted my very first, of many to come I pray, empowerment events.  It was scary . .the unknown was lingering; but most importantly it evoked change and it gave attendees the power of self.  I could've backed out and refunded everyone their money, but I didn't.  This was the influx of change on my behalf.  It was a catalyst for what I have coming.  You probably wondering, what the hell does this have to do with cheese?  HAHAHA

Most people LOVE cheese and I am one of them!!  When you have your mouth fixed to taste cheese on ANYTHING, when it doesn't happen you are highly disappointed!  Especially when you go through what's known as a "drive thru" and you get all the way home with no cheese!!  I equate this to my life . .the cheese is the best part!!! Don't touch my cheese!!!!  When you're living your best life in hopes that everything will go and is going as planned, that's the cheese!!  Tops everything off and makes life so much better!!

Why would you ever want to go back to the way things were?  Why would you subject yourself to living a life without cheese ever again?  Once you master transforming yourself into the life you truly deserve, Don't touch my cheese!!!  Don't allow people, places or things to determine how many layers of cheese you deserve!!  Speak life into every decision you are making.  It took so many emotions to get through the empowerment event, but it was worth every tear!  Had I listened to other people that didn't support my vision, I would not have been able to do it!

When you have something that is burning in your soul to do . . get like NIKE and "Just Do It"!  Nothing beats a fail but a try.  Try it . .if it works out GREAT. . .if it doesn't RETRY IT with a different cheese!  Whatever you do . .Don't touch my cheese!  This is YOUR life . .YOUR sandwich. .YOUR cheese!  Own it . .Love it. .Embrace it!  Who are you screaming Don't touch my cheese to?

#findYOURhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG:  @channelingtequila

Here Kitty Kitty!

Although cats have never really been my thing, I can respect a kitty!  AND . . here's why!  Cats are sophisticated, moody, matter-of-fact, fierce and most importantly independent!  Funny how I don't really do cats, but yes I am a MIGHTY LEO!  The king . .in this case . .QUEEN of the jungle.  All the poise and power needed to pretty much RUN SHIT!  Ever so carefully do we do that in our own way.  If you follow astrology at all . .yea I do . .you will know what I'm talking about.  According to astrology.com . .and my own personal experience:

Strengths: Creative, passionate, generous, warm-hearted, cheerful, humorous
Weaknesses: Arrogant, stubborn, self-centered, lazy, inflexible
Leo likes: Theater, taking holidays, being admired, expensive things, bright colors, fun with friends
Leo dislikes: Being ignored, facing difficult reality, not being treated like a king or queen

Here Kitty Kitty!

People born under the sign of Leo are natural born leaders. They are dramatic, creative, self-confident, dominant and extremely difficult to resist, able to achieve anything they want to in any area of life they commit to. There is a specific strength to a Leo and their "king of the jungle" status. Leo often has many friends for they are generous and loyal. Self-confident and attractive, this is a Sun sign capable of uniting different groups of people and leading them as one towards a shared cause, and their healthy sense of humor makes collaboration with other people even easier.

Here Kitty Kitty!

Leo belongs to the element of Fire, just like Aries and Sagittarius. This makes them warmhearted, in love with life, trying to laugh and have a good time. Able to use their mind to solve even the most difficult problems, they will easily take initiative in resolving various complicated situations. Ruled by the Sun, Leo worships this fiery entity in the sky, quite literally as well as metaphorically. They are in search for self-awareness and in constant growth of ego. Aware of their desires and personality, they can easily ask for everything they need, but could just as easily unconsciously neglect the needs of other people in their chase for personal gain or status. When a Leo representative becomes too fond and attached to their achievements and the way other people see them, they become an easy target, ready to be taken down.

Here Kitty Kitty!

Leo - the Lion in the Cave 

The story of the Lion always speaks of bravery. This is an animal fearless and impossible to challenge, hurt or destroy, their only weaknesses being fear and aggression towards those they confront. Living in a cave, a Lion always needs to have one, nesting and finding comfort in hard times. However, they should never stay there for long. With their head high, they have to face others with dignity and respect, never raising a voice, a hand, or a weapon, bravely walking through the forest they rule.

Here Kitty Kitty!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE everything about the LEO (i.e. ME)!  The red highlighted text sums up everything, packages it into a little box, sealed with a bow!  No one will ever destroy me, no matter what . .NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER!  There have been times in my life that I thought going through somethings was going to kill me but instead it made me stronger.  It made me realize that I am BULLETPROOF.  RICOCHET . .FIRE AWAY!  Just know that no matter what astrological sign you fall under, there is always strength in YOU!  Nothing or no one can take that away.  YES .. they can alter your strength because in your weakness you have no inkling of how strong you are.  It's when you RISE . . they fall!  Their ability to discount you, ignore you, belittle you . .all FALL when YOU RISE!

Here Kitty Kitty!

When I say Here Kitty Kitty . . .just know that MY KITTY is ready to ROAR!  What is your astrological sign?  How does it speak to your attributes?  Your strength?  Your weakness?  Your desires?  YOU?

With Love,

LR WILSON, Founder

FB: Channeling Tequila Page

IG:  @channelingtequila

Incognito!

How is it you didn't know what I needed?  There were so many conversations, I just conceded.  Me telling you over and over again what was missing, yet you never once took into consideration how I was feeling.  Time after time I tried to be what you wanted.  Not thinking for a minute my love was discounted.  I was shown affection from afar so I ran back to you to heal my scar.  Open with loving arms you took me in . . .many many times again and again.  The one time I thought this is it . . you ripped my soul apart and tore it to shreds and shit.  Never will I understand I don't believe; although the superficial reasoning impede.

Meeting this person has been so new to me.  I've never been priority second you see.  I can't imagine how this makes you feel, especially since the heart is so chill.  Cold as ice in every way, literally there's little of nothing to say.  Motives I'm sure I'll never be able to reconcile.  You knew exactly what you were doing with those lies.  Making a way to do what you already wanted to do.  Participating in all those untruths.  Seeking allies in your dysfunctional demise.  Only to rectify what you pretended was right.

Turning back the hands of time would only make things worse.  Reliving all the moments of hunger and thirst.  Hungry for attention and thirsty for the love I thought you would give.  The love that was promised for so many years.  Everything happens for a reason nonetheless.  You got exactly what you wanted so I wish you the best.  Closed doors and windows too . .there's nothing more lonely than not being able to be you.  Pretending to be what you're not, a magician you say?  Full of tricks and gimmicks that serve no purpose anyway. If that's what you want to call it, be my guest.  The reality is I'm still wishing you the best.

Changes happen in order to grow.  It can't happen lying next to someone you don't even know.  We all have wants, needs and desires.  What are you willing to place in the fire?  Selfishly nothing that will put you on the hot seat.  Yet you have every intention of sacrificing me.  Throwing me to the wolves to feast.  Never once did you come to help me defeat.  Hitting rock bottom crying at a sink.  You weren't there to save me.  I realized this one day and had to make a way.  See I'm more than you ever wished I were to be.  You got exactly what you wanted . .to be free.

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, Founder
FB:  Channeling Tequila
IG:  @channelingtequila
Email: channelingtequila.com

When did you become weak?

I was having a very candid conversation with someone and telling them my truth.  As we conversed, he said to me, "can I ask you a question?"  Me being who I am, I replied "you can ask me anything you want."  He then asked, "when did you become weak?" I had a loss for words.  Tragic . .huh?  I asked what he meant.  He went on to give me many compliments.  You're beautiful, you're educated, you're funny, you're a good mom and a good person from what I know, and I have known you for over 30 years, I don't know when you became weak so that's why I asked that question.  I really had to think about that question because I had no idea that I was weak.  "When did you become weak" played over and over again in my head.  As the conversation progressed he explained that the only way a person becomes weak is because of the heart.  Then I understood!

When did you become weak?  That's a question that we have to ponder often times because when you think of it from a physical strength it doesn't compute for many.  When you encompass the heart . . or emotion . .we are all susceptible to weakness.  We do things to appease others and to make sure that no one else becomes weak while losing our own strength.  Emotional strength is something that will continue to build but it's also the one strength that is easiest to loose if you don't preserve it.

When did you become weak?  Was it when you gave all your existence to someone who wasn't deserving, yet you believed in them?  Was it when you allowed someone else to dictate your happiness based on their ability to be happy?  Was it when you gave up your continued victimization in order to allow them to be the victim, yet they were the perpetrator?  Was it when you stopped your life dreams in order to support someone else's dream?  When did you become weak?

There is no right or wrong answer to this question.  It's merely about self-preservation.  Weakness is described as the state or condition of lacking strength for textbook purposes.  Where does your strength lie?  Continue to build emotional muscle so that you're ready to take on the world!  Life happens to the best of us and we have to be ready to put ourselves back together after we have a brief . . yes brief . .moment of falling apart.  Like one of my favorite icon says "Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together" - Marilyn Monroe. When did you become weak?

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, Founder
FB:  Channeling Tequila Page
IG:  @channelingtequila

Friends . . Foes . .Saints & H*es

Friends . . how many of us have them? Friends . .ones you can depend on.  That was a popular song by Whodini in 1984.  Yea I'm aging myself, but we all know I don't care about that one bit LOL!  Anyhow . .that song came to mind when I was being fed the topic for today's blog post.  I began to think about how many friends . .not acquaintances, because there is a difference . .that I have had throughout my lifetime.  I've had friends for over 30+ years and I have had friends for less time as well.  What constitutes a friendship by definition is "the emotion or conduct of friends; the state of being friends; a relationship of being friends; a state of mutual support between allied nations" (dictionary.com).  All those textbook definitions have one commonality . . FRIENDS.  Many say and even portray they are your friends when you are going through tough times; however the actions that are displayed when you're going through them do not merit a true friendship.  I have had so called friends 1) tell my business to others 2) talk about me with those people 3) believe whatever was told to them by other people instead of coming to ask me directly and 4) just drop off without me not knowing what the hell was going on.  I use to find myself compromising or asking myself what I could have done in order for those things not to happen in a "friendship" when in reality they were not my friends . .the were foes.  Foes swoop in and pretend to care while plotting for your downfall in anyway possible.  To me they are just like sleeper cells. . .sitting and waiting until the right time to take you out.  Could be years!

True friends listen, give advice if needed, support you, don't tell your business outside of the circle of friends that you've confided in and they most definitely don't disappear. Most importantly a true friend will call you on your shit whether you like it or not because they want what's best for you.  It's up to you to listen or not; because their job is done.  I have never been one to just act like the damn elephant isn't sitting on our laps at the table, so I call it like it is.  I was once told "you keep it too real; that's why people don't like you."  Well que sera sera!  I enjoy looking at the one face I see in the mirror each day.  My mother had to continually come to my school because I was in trouble for my mouth! She said why can't you just sit down and be quiet like everyone else?  Yea that doesn't work for me LOL!  I have learned over the years what being a true friend is and I have also learned that everybody does not deserve the title of friend.  Some will FOREVER stay in the acquaintance status and that's okay.  You may be perceived as their friend; however it does not have to be a mutual relationship.   Just because you have fulfilled the duty of being a friend to their specification doesn't mean they have done the same for you.  Friends come in waves and in seasons.  Every friendship is not meant to last through your lifetime.  They have come in . .served their purpose in that season . .moved on.  It's equivalent to the circle of life!

No lets talk about the Saints.  I use to be heavily involved in church for many many years.  When I was with my paternal grandmother I went to Catholic church.  When I was with my maternal grandmother I went to Baptist church.  When I was home with my mother I went to Presbyterian church.  When I became an adult I reverted back to the Baptist church and then to Church Of God In Christ (COGIC) church.  So I'm pretty well rounded in the department of "religion".  My gripe is that no matter what church or denomination I was involved, the Saints were involved in worldly drama.  YES I am aware that the church is only a building and the people in the church make up that "church".  I put no man or woman on a religious pedestal because we all are human and make mistakes.  That's not my issue.  I know you're like well what the hell is the issue then . .or at least I would be lol!  The issue is when the Saints act as if they have never done anything wrong and don't acknowledge that they were once sinners . .and still do . .yet look down upon others in the same or similar predicament.  Yep . .I said it and I said it here.  The last time I attended church was about a year or so ago.  I attended a church service that had a famous TV judge at church on the day I attended.  I go for one reason so I had no idea this was happening that day.  The church was CROWDED . .you know like on Easter Sunday when the holiday patrons attend.  There was no room inside or upstairs in the balcony so we sat outside in the atrium.  You would think that if this service was so important there would be accommodations for everyone to hear the service and potentially see what was going on inside the sanctuary . .there wasn't.  The doors were not opened for us in the atrium and there was no screen to view what was going on.  I sat there for about fifteen minutes when I noticed a young family of seven enter through the doors.  Father, mother and five small children came in and were first time visitors.  If you know anything about your spiritual self you can read when someone is in need of the Word and this family was in need.  They tried to get into the sanctuary and was not permitted to do so.  They ultimately came out and sat in the atrium across from us.  I watched as they appeared to be troubled and needed to be in the sanctuary to be fed the Word.  It didn't happen . . .they got frustrated and left.  I often think about them and pray that they received whatever it is they were seeking on that day because the Saints were not there to assist them to get whatever it was they were in search of.  I was so disgusted that the service was NOT a service for those seeking spiritual help but for a show in my opinion.  I left that day and didn't return.  I was asked why I haven't been there by others and I explained how that one incident hurt me so badly.  I did not want to be associated with that type of environment.  Later I learned that the SAINTS were not playing well together and alot of behind the scenes drama happened which spilled over into the church and there was a great divide.  Always listen to your inner soul.  It will not steer you in the wrong direction.  I may or may not become active in a church setting again; however I am fully aware of my needs spiritually.  I'm not a Bible thumper as they say . .but I do know, believe and try to practice the Word.  I do what's right by people.

The thing you ALL have been waiting on is the segment on H*es!  Yes I'm about to talk about this today too.  I was in discussion with some guys and they were talking about females being hoes because they sleep around.  My question was why are they hoes and men aren't when they do the same thing?  You would have thought I asked them to solve the equation to World Peace!!  One guy said "that's just nasty for a female to do that".  I asked why is it nasty?  All he could say is "it just is".  Well I need to know why.  These are consenting adults so why is she nasty and he's not?  Why does he get a pass and a pat on the back when she receives ridicule?  No one could answer that question so I went ahead and broke it down for them.  Any time a woman does anything that a man can do without question is a problem because men feel like they are superior and untouchable.  It's a new day baby so unless you are on board with "adulting" you will be left behind in your caveman thinking.  As long as a woman is respectful in doing what she does, there shouldn't be an issue with her sleeping with as many as she chooses . . just like a man.  Men can be hoes too so stop acting like men get a medal of honor for being a hoe and women get shunned.  It's a double standard and always has been which is exactly why the playing field is being leveled now.  Don't do what you wouldn't want the next person doing if it's a problem.  Ladies respect yourself and do what you want when you want.  WE ALL GROWN so act like it.  Self love is the ultimate conclusion.  Love you doing you!

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR WILSON, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Email: channelingtequila@gmail.com