Not Everybody Is Ready to Receive You


Laying in bed as I write this blog post for the week and it dawned on me that I allowed someone into my space both literally and figuratively only to find out the timing was off. The feeling of being connected in that moment was something I had lost in my quest to wholeness and self preservation. I'd become so guarded that nothing was getting through if I was the one in control. Well needless to say my guard came down. Imagine being in the backseat of a limo and that little window or partition rolls down a tiny bit where you can see the driver's eyes in the rearview mirror as he or she is speaking to you. Got that visual? Yea that's how much my guard went down and that was too much.

When it comes to my family and friends I'm extremely guarded as to not introduce them to anyone. When I allow someone into my space that I feel is "introductory worthy", that's when you know you're in. I wasn't looking for anyone and it kinda just all happened at once. Just as fast as it happened...it unhappened. Timing was "right" in the moment but in reality it wasn't. The connection and energy is strong as hell, yet the timing isn't.

Being caught up in a moment of normality is an amazing feeling. Especially when you've been out of it for so long. A very good guy friend of mine said to me "my mom always told me to reflect on what you can change and have memories of what you wanna keep". That statement resonated with me because that's exactly who I am.

I was told I'm the full package. I mean I agree yet at the same time it's one of those "it's me not you" deals. With that said, it tells me that everyone is not ready for my energy. Just as they are not ready for me, I'm not ready for them. In order to be all you can be, you have to be that for yourself before you can even think about being it for someone else.

Continue to love yourself and understand that everybody is not ready to "receive you" as one of my girlfriends so eloquently said during one of our conversations. Although you're not ready to be received in a intimate relationship aspect, if you so desire, you can be there to support others through their own journey of transformation. Not everyone is ready for your energy....remember that.

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR Wilson, Founder

FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @CHANNELINGTEQUILA
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com


Photo Credit: Alexandra Khitrova

Invisible in Plain Sight

There will come a time in your life where you have to separate yourself from certain people, places and things yet remain relevant in your own space. You become invisible in plain sight in order to survive and shield yourself. For a very long time I was that person. I find myself reverting back at times because I'm not a fan of the dramatics of life.

Being invisible in plain sight can be a curse and a blessing. A curse because you literally just cut people out of your life, certain things out of your life, stop going places all to maintain your own survival. The blessing of being invisible in plain sight is that you're able to reflect and focus on yourself. You no longer put other people's issues before your own. Taking care of your own business becomes your priority and not a secondary response.

You'll know when it's your time to be invisible in plain sight. No one can tell you when that is based on when they had to do the same thing. They won't be able to even tell you when you're done with that piece of your life. Please don't be mistaken...this life revelation can happen more than once. As a matter of fact, it's a good thing that it happens multiple times in one's life because we all have to readjust depending on what's going on.

Remain invisible in plain sight so that you can take the time to take care of yourself. You have to do what's best for you and your situation.

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com 

In Search of REASSURANCE

When I'm in need of reassurance in anything I will go into self defense mode. It's become my natural reaction since everything transpired in my previous marriage. I'm working on not self sabotaging things, yet at the same time being overly cautious is where my comfort lies. I'm a confident beautiful mixed soul when it comes to many things...except in a relationship. Like my therapist says..."you're waiting on the shoe to fall all the time". I had to agree because it's true. It's safe to say I have anxiety about being in a relationship. This wonderful diagnosis of relational anxiety has afforded me yes....more therapy! Now don't get me wrong, I love my middle aged white woman with black tendencies because she keeps shit real real with me! Yet I would love to be at a place in my life and relational that would allow me not to be in therapy. I've been with the same therapist off and on since 2010/2011 and she knows IT ALL! Welp...guess I'll be there until I'm kicked off this ride.

Self sabotaging is a real thing just in case some of you are questioning my very own reflection of myself. When I'm into someone or something I tend to throw myself into it. Once I begin to get comfortable my mind is going 10k miles an hour to try and find a way out because of my own insecurities. Just like I pep talked myself into it, I can pep talk myself out of it and put the wheels in motion faster than the winner of the Indy 500! I'm learning to just let things be. Enjoy the moment and live in the moment. It's work and I'm a work in progress.

I love the thought of love and embracing it. What I don't like about love is the uncertainty of it all. When I'm happy, I'm cautiously happy and that can cripple anything in place. Fortunately I have encountered someone who understands where I am and is willing to help navigate through it all. The process is long yet necessary and a lifelong one if you're ever planning to have peace in life. Allow yourself to experience your best self and allow your best self to be experienced. Live...love...live some more and laugh uncontrollably often.

#findyourhappy

With Love,

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com 

What You Want Ain't What You Need

Moving on from a longstanding relationship is hard. It doesn't matter if it was a good one or a bad one, either way when it's time to move on after it has ended there will be some reservation or hesitation. Often times when thinking of moving on, I am crippled with fear. Fear that it will not work out so just forget it. That has kept me captive from moving on to another relationship. I still have anxiety that things will not work out.

Then someone comes along who says all the right things. Does all the right things, yet and still I have reservations because of my own insecurities. Yes yes I know I can do anything and I'm a beacon of light when it comes to empowering others, but when it comes to this relationship thing, I'm just suspicious of everything. I'm trying to manage it all and give people benefit of doubt. I have zero problems with telling them I have trust issues and I have no plans on being in a relationship. Well sometimes our plans are not our own. I found myself longing for that afterall.

Hell I was once told that in order to get to what you need you have to let go of what you want. That's a deep statement. The reality is once you get what you need, it was everything you wanted and you don't even know it. My "type" was 6ft and over, 250 lbs and up with dark skin. That's all I was attracted to. I looked past everyone that didn't meet that "perfect for me" profile. Let me be the first to tell you that didn't work out for me. It wasn't until I started looking beyond my expectations that I saw what I truly needed. I know you're waiting for me to describe him...but naw imma leave this right here.

One of my favorite post on social media is "I'm single so if you see me with someone, mind your business. I'm doing interviews." People are quick to jump all in your kool aid with the flavor being wrong and the sugar missing. Understand that when I want people to know about my life, they will. I mean that's Captain Obvious hence the blog!

If you haven't found your "type", if I may suggest a solution, change your outlook. You may be missing out on what you need which is exactly what you want.

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com

Puzzled to Say the Least

Help me to understand why it's you I should choose

What makes you different from what I've already had? You're still just a man

You say all the right things and do everything you say you're going to do
I mean some things a girl is just not use to

Truths and no lies you say
Stop is there such a thing? Is there such a way? You and your wizardry is enticing to me
But I have questions you see
I'm puzzled to say the least

Help me to understand why it's you I should choose
What makes you different from what I've already had? You're still just a man

We have the same stories written in a different book
If we appeared in a mirror we would share the same look
I'm skeptical about what you bring to the table 

Not because you can't or not able
But I have questions you see
I'm puzzled to say the least

It's different for me just like it is for you
I guess we will let things do what they do
It's crazy how understanding this thing is such a beast
I'm puzzled to say the least

Sweet Dreams Collection

*I own the rights to this cited work*

#findyourhappy

LR Wilson, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila Page
IG: @channelingtequila
Web: channelingtequila.blogspot.com