Daddy Issues

Growing up I never had the pleasure of a "nuclear" family.  What exactly is a nuclear family you ask?  Well in layman terms it's the perfect family with a white picket fence living happily ever after and the parental unit consist of a mother and a father.  Yea . . uh no!  For a very long time I held alot of resentment against the wife of my father . . obviously not my mother . .and I blamed her for everything . .including keeping my daddy away.  I didn't understand why this happened and I never felt like I was part of "that side" of the family for a very long time as well.  I eventually came to terms with things some 30+ years later.  Years wasted feeling a certain way about something I didn't even have all the information to even warrant my feelings. Well got over that . .thank God! Crazy thing is I LOVED my damn sisters and had never really had a relationship with any of them on my dad's side.  Crazy right??
As we got older we began to communicate and it has been the BEST thing ever.  I felt like I had known them all my life in the physical aspect when in reality it was always in my heart that I carried the love for them.  It clearly did not take away the feelings I had of not having MY DAD . .in reality OUR DAD. . with me.  See I got daddy issues! 

See I got daddy issues that I couldn't quite define
The kind that warps your mind
See I got daddy issues that required me to look for love in all the wrong places
The kind that made me wear so many different faces
See I got daddy issues that I didn't even understand
The kind that made me always put myself second to a man
See I got daddy issues that made me want to please
The kind that had me begging and pleading for love on my knees
See I got daddy issues that allowed me to be mistreated and misused
The kind that you don't know about unless you've walked in my shoes
See I got daddy issues that made me believe my body was so dope
The kind that made me wear promiscuity like a cloak
See I got daddy issues searching for that one thing that is missing from my life
The kind that allowed me to become somebody's wife . .not once but twice
See I got daddy issues that made me put up with things I never should have
The kind that make you question why you stayed in the first place, other than to save face
See I got daddy issues that I haven't really gotten over, I would say
The kind that makes me trust no one because they will just leave anyway
See I got daddy issues that required me to be someone I'm not
The kind that will make me cut you off on the spot
See I got daddy issues which allowed me to where my heart on my sleeve
The kind that no one really can conceive
See I got daddy issues that have allowed me to grow into who I am
The kind that helped me to realize that he is just a man
See I got daddy issues that still will make my bottom lip quiver
The kind that makes me wonder if he were there . .would it really be different?
See I got daddy issues that I'm still working through
No matter what happened in the past, I can sincerely say I know that his love is true!

#findyourhappy

With Love,
LR WILSON, Founder
FB: Channeling Tequila
IG: @channelingtequila
Email: channelingtequila@gmail.com