"Gaining A Loss" what an oxymoron! Oxy what? Oxy who? (in my Jigga voice)! Yea so an oxymoron in laymen's terms is a contradictory statement. Now the real question is how are we Gaining A Loss? Loss happens in everyday life and the range is quite wide. Loss of a loved one, loss of a relationship, loss of a job, loss of self . . pretty much anything you endure in an everyday situation can be preceded with the word loss where needed. In life we often focus on those things that were loss and not on what we have gained from it! The very first time I experienced loss was when my maternal grandmother, Rosie passed away. I could not define what I was feeling and I didn't want to acknowledge that she would no longer be there for me. I lived with my grandmother until I was about four years old and then I, along with my sisters, visited her every summer so it was a common thread in my life for her to be there. Although she lived in Arkansas and we lived in Mississippi, it was just as if there was no distance between us. I ADORED my grandmother. Now let me tell you a little about her! She never worked a day in her life and was always taken care of by her husband or boyfriend once her husband passed away. We would fight about me wearing a slip under my dress because all respectable young ladies wore slips. (insert eyeroll) Yep . .I was a rebel then too . .LOL! She made sure we were leaving the house in tip top shape . .even going to the Piggly Wiggly!! For you Northerners/Midwesterners, the Piggly Wiggly is the Cub Foods of the South. I was living in California when she passed away and you could have scooped me up with a spoon I was so devastated. That was the most tragic loss of my life. What I gained from that loss were the memories that we shared through the years. I could actually remember my childhood living with her, our summers we spent with her and the many times over and over again she would hug and kiss us. I also remember the whippings with the switch that we had to go and get ourselves too, lol . .but hey what's most importantly is that my Gaining A Loss moments were the best ones of all . . the loving memories, her smell, her voice, her smile and her laugh.
Loss of a relationship was another Gaining A Loss moment in my life. Lord I tell you . .I thought I was surely going to die and here I am living and sh*t! Remember when I talked about the dreadful D word in last week's post . .depression . . for those of you who have to now go back and catch up that's what it is! That hit me like a ten ton truck! I was going through life in a robotic state . . no lie! Just when I thought all life was lost . . on a man . . and I realized it was NOT . . HOLD ON Y'ALL . .here I come Gaining A Loss! After that experience and jumping over the hurdles that were placed in front of me because I was not prepared financially, emotionally or physically for that to happen in my life, it woke me up BIG TIME!! My Gaining A Loss moment was that I needed to get my finances in order, emotionally I had to center myself back to MY HAPPY and physically I needed to be strong enough to take on everyday challenges. These are things I didn't think twice about because I was complacent.
Gaining A Loss moments help us to recognize WHO WE ARE and WHAT WE HAVE TO OFFER to not only ourselves but to the world in general. There are a lot of people who depend on us whether we recognize it or not. Sometimes we don't even know that people are depending on us because they are not directly connected to us personally. For example, when I am walking through the skyways at my job, just about every 10 to 15 steps someone is speaking to me or stopping me to say hi, give a hug, waving etc. Many of them I have NO CLUE who they are; however I impacted their lives in some positive way otherwise they would be avoiding me. Anyone who has accompanied me to coffee or lunch or whatever can attest to the many times we are stopped before we get to our destination. I'm not saying this to brag or boast. I'm saying it because we don't know what people are going through on a day to day basis and when we are having a Gaining A Loss moment in our lives, we shine through for others.
Don't allow a loss to be a bad thing in your life. Every thing happens for a reason and every reason will be defined. Our destiny is already written I firmly believe. Everything we go through is already known. No man or woman can tell us what it is or when it will be because they are not in control. Focus on having a Gaining A Loss moment when things don't go as planned. What have you gained from that loss? Was it experience? Was it a skill? Was it sanity? Was it peace? Was it self love? Was it redirection? What ever it was . . FIND IT! Our plan is not our own anyway. WE are merely vessels on this earth and what we put out into the universe will be what we get back in this temporary life. Always remember that YOU ARE STRONG, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE HANDSOME, YOU ARE SPECIAL, YOU ARE EQUIPPED, YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE GAINING A LOSS!
#findyourhappy
With Love
LR Wilson, Founder
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